


A thousand yes more

by Varretoto



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst, Black Widow is a cat, Deaf Clint Barton, Fluff, M/M, Mention of abuse, Or At Least I Tried, PTSD, Slow Burn, Witch Bruce Banner, Witch Clint Barton, Witch sam Wilson, mention of brainwashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-13 01:01:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7955980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Varretoto/pseuds/Varretoto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is afraid of magic and witches, but he knows that to realign his life after a coma of seven months he has to leave the apartment that had served him as a shelter from the world. It looks easy if he got Red, his new cat friend, to support him but she can’t protect him from magic and his feelings towards his cute coworker who is a witch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A thousand yes more

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Winterhawk Big Bang 2016
> 
> Beautiful art done by brightestcrayonsart, you can find it in [here](http://brightestcrayonsart.tumblr.com/post/149930006748/i-havent-quite-finished-this-i-needed-to-shade)
> 
> (For some reason the page won't let me correct the text so... I'm sorry for the horrible mistakes, I'll keep trying)

It was just 11 in the morning and Bucky already wanted the world to end… great.

The day had begun pretty acceptable. He had the fortune to wake up because he got enough sleep and not because of a nightmare; he had the fortune to get off bed after a good rest and not with the remaining of a night in veil like the first times after leaving the hospital, which in fact, were awful.

Waking from a coma on a hard bed and to the smell of disinfectant was painful, not just for the absent weight on his left side but also because of his head that was being filled with a swirl of memories and blurred images that crumbled instantly. He realized that the one screaming was him when he felt a needle piercing through the skin of his forearm, the sedative working in a couple of seconds and forcing him to sleep, again. When he reawakened a person was sitting next to his bed with his hand in between theirs, at first it was difficult to put a name to that face but after some minutes he knew it was Steve.

_Steve my friend, my brother_

A couple days later the doctor said he was  _healthy_  enough to go; they didn’t give him time to adjust and assimilate his new arm. More like saying  _hey It’s not our problem that you’re missing maybe 60% of yours memories or that you had two episodes were you nearly killed a nurse, nah you’re fine_. Steve was willing to fight them about their negligence, even a pretty woman that Bucky didn’t remember her name was on his side saying something about a person with a big name that could help them, but Bucky decided that he didn’t care.

The pretty woman accompanied them to Steve’s apartment (since Bucky didn’t have his own anymore) offering the help one more time, but Steve denied it with a short mumble and a pained expression. 

Bucky was scared of a lot of things, one of them the simple act of falling asleep.  He was scared that the unconscious could trigger him with the nightmares or the remaining memories concerning the incident. Sometimes the darkness and the coldness were enough to make him feel like a threat for Steve or anyone else that would come close.  Sometimes the darkness was enough to make him feel broken.

So for the last four months Bucky hadn’t stepped outside the door, not even once.

One day Steve proposed a therapist, Bucky said yes just to get him to shut up. One day the therapist proposed somniferous, Bucky said yes because he was desperate (because it was easier for him to focus in one small problem at a time).

Misses Sara’s medicine wasn’t full of chemicals but of  _love,_  as she always liked to say, given that  the elaboration of potions was her specialty. The kind of potions that are made with bat wings, frogs legs, spidery and rat blood (no James, I only use plants that grow in my beautiful garden and it is not necessary for you to know their names) and you stir all while you swearing (no James, I do not need to curse the cauldron) and you finally get a transparent liquid that smell like wet soil and mint… how? Magic (It’s called talent sweetie). He refused to take a potion at first and asked for a drug instead, but his therapist claimed that it wasn’t healthy for his body because it could cause unnecessary extra stress for his psyche and argued that magic was pure energy therefore pretty natural and friendly.

His therapist prescribed that it had to be quite explicitly Misses Sara who elaborate the medicine.. A little grumpy and a little demanding, the witch had wide experience dealing with people with PTSD regarding magic. It was fine, they didn’t have to like each other and be friends, Misses Sara kept it down to make the potion and Bucky to say “thank you”.

And he sure was, because sleeping stopped being a problem. At 23:00 Bucky would lie down on bed, take two drops that tasted like water and let himself fall into a pleasant abyss. And eight hours later he would wake up in a good mood. It was a small detail, an insignificant routine that gave Bucky some balance and control over his life back and that felt awesome.

Bucky felt proud  knowing that he was improving, but he felt bad because for Steve it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t like Steve would ever say something, he will never say something because of the fear to hurt Bucky. But he understood that babysitting him 24/7 for the last four months had to be exhausting. Well, Bucky never asked him to take him into his house. That unilateral agreement, since the beginning was painful for both of them. Bucky didn’t know who was more selfish between the two of them. If Him because he believed that Steve will never leave… or Steve by believing that he was everything that Bucky needed to heal, to go back and be the person that Bucky barely remembered.

The good intentions of Steve,  _the good friend_ , commonly ended up asphyxiating him and he would commonly end up shouting trying to get rid of that unjustified anger.

“You’ve to give me some space Steve dammit!”

Or

“I’m not a fucking porcelain doll that will break if you don’t fucking have it in your hands all the time Steve!”

Or

“Why do you try so hard? It would have been better if you had let me die!”

Steve accepted every harsh words without talking back, he allowed Bucky to vent. Steve didn’t complain or scold him when he broke the table of the living-room by throwing it against the wall; no, Steve instead waited and when he thought it was safe, he wrapped his arms around Bucky and let him cry. The next day Bucky tried to compensate it by making breakfast, something that the incident didn’t change, his cooking. And both of them thanked it while eating in silence.

Obviously things were supposed to get better, the fight and episodes decreased slowly to the point of two weeks without any of them. Even so, Bucky felt the need to force himself even more.

Steve’s work had been quite sensitive to give him a leave of absence for 135 days. Just today, his friend had left not before repeating several times that if there was any kind of problem he shouldn’t hesitate to call him, no matter the time.

“What if it is an emergency… a really serious emergency?”

“I’m pretty sure Tony will understand”

The truth was, Bucky couldn’t help feeling relieved of Steve retaking his life. And having 13 hours to spend alone maybe didn’t sound… safe, but it was a risk Bucky was willing to take.

Besides, how hard could it be?

Quite a lot.

Because the day started good, you know, apart from the pressure of proving himself backed up with the little confidence Steve was trying to stick to. But the darn burnt pancakes were changing his mood real fast. Three burnt pancakes were already on the trash can and he was trying on the fourth.

 _There’s no need to get all overwhelmed over food, who cares you can’t make some pancakes on you first day alone?_ He does and that was enough, _so fuck it_. Maybe it was too much to ask for the ending of the world, but whatever that could made him feel better could be appreciated… in some weird kind of way.

“Anyway,” Bucky let his fist hit aside the stove “how the hell do you get burnt pancakes when you are watching them all the time?”

The fsssst of the flour cooking didn’t give him the answer and Bucky decided to glare at it. Until now it was looking good, he flipped it on time and let the other side cook.

He was too concentrated on the imminent failure that the knock at the door made him jump. Without realizing what he was doing, Bucky left the spatula and went for it. He gain conscious of what when he was at one step near the door.

Wait, _was he really doing it?_

Previously, whenever Steve got any visits Bucky would shut himself on his bedroom… so this natural response took him by surprise. It felt as if he was used to do it, well maybe one year ago it was that way, but now… maybe it was because in that precise moment he was in charge of the apartment.

Bucky, with all the carefulness and silence he was able of, took a peck on the eye hole; on the other side there was a teenager girl.

“Mr. Rogers? Are you in?” she said giving another knock.

The question made him startle back as if she had known someone was watching her. He didn’t know who were theirs neighbors, not even theirs names. _Shit_ , he should have asked Steve their names at least. It was obvious that the girl knew his best friend because of the familiarity of her calling, but for Bucky she was just an estranger. Bucky didn’t know too many people nowadays due to him only seeing Steve, Misses Sara and Mr. Therapist.

The hell he was ready for this.

He spun around ready to ignore the girl until she decided to go.

“Don’t be stupid, just ask who she is,” he mumbled to himself “you can make a difference by trying.”

He spun around again, facing the door, again. He was really going to do it. As his hand touched the door handle his body started trembling. An invisible fist hit him on the chest taking the air of his lungs in an exhalation. He leaned against the wall trying to find some support for him to calm down; he heard steps going away. He opened his mouth.

_No I can´t_

The lack of air began to burn his lungs and he started to black out at times. He wanted to scream. Maybe someone would hear him and… Then what? They couldn’t come in, they couldn´t do anything.  The fear made him shed tears.

_Help, anyone, please_

But they could call 911. His mouth let out some whining when he tried to draw the words. Nothing, it was impossible. Oh God, he was going to die in the middle of the aisle, somehow that made him feel even worse.

_Steve, I'm ... help me_

Oh, Steve. The phone, where the heck was the damn phone?

Bucky felt his head spin and a lump growing in his throat making it harder to breathe. He tried to get to the kitchen, maybe there was the phone, but his legs ended failing him on his first step. The pain of hitting the ground with his knees traveled through his body; he was able to put his arms in front when his body gave in to avoid hitting the ground with his face now.

He gasped desperately but the little air that managed to pass did nothing to decrease the pain on his chest.  Darkness was growing around him, swallowing everything. He was going to die because of his stupidity and his stupid proud.

_I´m so sorry Steve_

 

Bucky felt a gentle pat on his head and his brain automatically blanked.

Meow

And then more pats setting a pace. Somehow he got himself to look up. There was a red dot with two green little dots. He focused in that red spot and without thinking forced his breathing to work in pair with the pats on his head. The pain stayed but his head cleared slowly, it still felt dizzy though. When the blurry left his vision he saw a cat sitting in front his face.

The cat seemed to understand he was feeling better and stopped.

Were the heck does they came from? He was sure that no window in the apartment had being opened since last week because of winter’s winds. But there was a red cat sitting in the kitchen floor with theirs tail wagging slowly behind them. Maybe they got inside when Steve left.

Both of them stayed down just staring at each other until the smell of burnt alerted Bucky.

“Shit”

He squirmed himself to his foot and bolt into the stove. He shut it on time of provoking a fire but both the pan and pancake are past the point of saving them. The cat jumped up to the tableland and sit without losing Bucky from their sigh. Now there were four burnt pancakes but that didn’t make him feel bad, he just sighed. The red ball of fur cocked its head and meowed. He offered it the burnt food bringing the pan near them that sniffed its content before biting it. Bucky chuckled when the cat meowed with discomfort and pushed his hand away from them.

So both of them were hungry, he can handle that. He threw the ruined pan into the trash and took another to try again. He made the mental note to pay Steve for the pan.  Ten minutes later they were enjoying a pancake each one. They spent some hours staring at each other and occasionally biting their food; Bucky made some more for himself. When the cat finally ended their only pancake, they walked straight to Bucky rub theirs head against the fake arm three times and meowed one last time before running to the window that is open in the living room and left.

Bucky stayed in his seat for at least one more hour doing nothing, not even thinking, just breathing and it’s quite soothing. He finally gets up with the suddenly need of moving his body and feel useful.

He chose to clean the bedroom he was currently using; Steve had a week asking him to do as anyway. Not because it was like really awful, but because he left sometime between the cleanings. Bucky find it only necessary if he was having a bad they cause the extra activity maintain him unfocused of the big world and was easy for him to relax.

Although you could said the room was a messy for the big amount of boxes sprawled all over it. He had never opened those boxes; only the two that had the amount and basics of clothes for him to survive a week, after being used and washed the clothes would go back to the same boxes. On the rest, he doesn’t have idea of what is in. Personal belongings, Bucky assumes, maybe books or portraits or a toothbrush. Whatever it is he doesn’t want to see it. It’s not fair if he couldn’t remember why they were so important for Steve to keep them for him. So the closet, the bureau the small book shelve were empty; because Bucky didn’t feel he was yet in the right to call Steve's apartment home. He still considered himself an intruder that one day, without warning, will pick up his stuff and leave. So why bother?

At last Bucky could find some fun; he would rearrange the order of the boxes moving them from side to side inside the room, pilling them playing with the forms he could make or how tall they could go. He could spend a lot of time doing so.

He called it done after cleaning the furniture that was in there just gaining dust and swept the floor. It was late, almost seven. He ate the leftovers of salty spaghetti Steve cooked the previous day sitting on the sofa watching pieces of three movies.

 

Steve arrived at 10:45 and found Bucky asleep in the sofa, his head resting on the armrest and his feet protruding above the other one. The television was on showing the credits of who knows what movie.

Catching up after four and a half months off work, in which he never got any rest on the contrary of what Tony keep saying, left him nearly dead. His arms and feet weighed crawled because they would not leave the ground at every step. Pepper said he could leave earlier if he wanted since he had shouldn’t overloaded himself with a very condescending smile and a little pity. Refusing seemed indicated; they already had given him a good amount of time, but that didn’t meant he had to like it. Since his body did not allow him more and because Bucky looked very comfortable on the couch, he brought a sheet to cover him, closed the window and went to sleep in his sweet bed.

oOo

This time Steve didn’t wake him when he was going. Bucky found a note taped to the refrigerator when he went to get something to eat saying again that if he had any problems to call him. He felt sad of going to be at last 38 without seeing Steve. He hope he wasn´t doing it in purpose.

Steve said the first days were going to be hard. Or maybe he needed time alone too.

There was not much to do, just wash the dishes used yesterday and today; since Steve took the advantage of the free breakfast his job provide him there were a few dishes. That gave the cold feeling of living alone.

The cat sat down the windowsill of the living-room, again no one opened that window, tail wagging and softly meows. Luckily he had a can of tuna, he ignored that it had three days left before expiring (if you don’t like it, stop buying it Stevie). He put the plate beside the window and walked away. The cat followed his movements as if they didn’t trust him completely yet; well he indeed gave them burnt food first, before approaching the plate and sniff the food. He took a few bites that lowered the contents of the dish halfway; meowed as thanking and left taking a leap to the fire escape. It looked they were in a hurry.

“See you tomorrow” Bucky replied smiling just a little.

 

The next day Bucky got up before Steve did and they chat, just catching up on the last days as if them weren´t living together. Bucky talked about the cat, he didn´t mention the panic attack. Steve said his boss, Tony Stark, was a pain in the ass; he didn´t talk about the doubts about letting his friend alone.

In the afternoon the cat let Bucky pat their head and Bucky let them take a nap on his lap.

The fourth day he realizes they were a she.

The fifth day Red, yeah he wasn’t creative, didn´t left after eating and was nice enough to not bite Steve when he tried to touch her. She just hissed and walked herself into Bucky’s room. The two friends laughed it off.

The sixth day Bucky awakes to the meowing of his new friend. They ate pancakes again but with Steve’s company this time. In the afternoon his therapist said that she was nice.

 

oOo

“Time out, time out” Bucky said between gasps. His side stitched and his heart was beating like crazy.

“For you or Red?” Steve stopped and stepped back some steps carrying a big smile; the fucker. She looked away offended.

“Shut up punk” Bucky managed to reach the side of the track and take a sit, more like letting him fall flat stretching all his body. Red trotted behind him and jumped to his chest sitting in her common position, up right and the tail wiggling behind.

“It’s been only two laps.”

“Don’t push it” Bucky shoot him a death glare and Steve raised his hands in surrender without erasing his smile.

Damn that feel horrible, his first time to exercise with Steve, and he was so pity. In his defense it has been more than a year he last worked out.

“Should have started with something easier maybe” Steve stretched and hopped some.

“Yeah, yeah maybe jogging” Bucky exhaled loudly.

Steve chuckled. “We were jogging”

Bucky stared up at him blinking a couple of time. “Oh, I hate you! Monster! You are never putting the pace again, ever”

Steve laughed. He then sat beside Bucky crossing his legs. Steve approached his hand to the cat without touching her, as if asking permission. Red stretched her head until rubbing it against his fingers.

“She is so nice” he scratched her behind the ears.

“Yeah, but it’s weird for a cat being this attached, the first time I see it at least.”

“Me too”

Since she started living with them, she had never left Bucky’s side, even outside. It felt as if she was doing what his work didn’t left Steve to do. Anyway, Bucky didn’t mind, sometimes a silent company was easier to deal with.

“I never saw you like a cat person. You were always saying that they were too much trouble”

“Any kind of animal actually, but Red is easy”

“Not with food”

“Everyone is entitled to a whim,” Red meowed in statement “and I don’t blame her for not eating your shit Steve, everybody knows your cooking sucks.”

“It’s edible”

“That’s not enough”

“Shut up” He hit him on the shoulder.

Just last week Bucky had proposed to go with Steve in his morning routine. Red’s presence had a big impact in Bucky healing treatment, they were in fact an item, and it seems she worked as an anchor to real life for Bucky. Steve approve that he was capable of survive _alone_ and every day he left to work after asking the cat to watch over the grumpy man.

One day Steve came back to find no one in the apartment, he has good reasons to fright. He was assimilating the possibility of Bucky running away and calling Pepper when the door opened again letting both man an animal to come in. They had gone to the store down the street because Bucky wanted coffee and they have run out. Steve didn’t know why he started to cry, if of relief or because his friend went outside for the first time; but he hit him calling him stupid.

With time those trips to the store down street became little walks around the block, and just one time they accompanied Steve to Stark’s Tower and spent all the day in his personal room.

Most trusted employees had a personal room in the tower, big enough to be a tiny pent-house; so they won’t have problems with a work of 13 hours per day. All the rooms got access to a common room; and the owners to plenty food, television and videogames. Pepper said Tony didn’t have a problem for them to go, only if they didn’t interfere with his job. Bucky just asked if he could avoid meeting anyone.

And now they have tried _jogging_ in the nearest park. For Bucky was easier if he isolate the rest of the world when he was in a space with a lot of people or when it wasn’t necessary to talk to someone besides Steve; even with the last one it was a requirement to be few people around.

“You know the Miller’s kids will come later for me helping with their homework right?” Steve said, stopping the caresses. Red purred as she lower her body to rest completely on Bucky’s chest.

“Yeah”

For his tone and his body tensing Steve knew he forgot it. The Millers lived one floor below them and had three children. They were pretty nice but they had asked Bucky about his _plastic arm_ when they met him; so he got real awkward around them. He would shut in his room whenever they visit most of the time.

“They said they wanted to play with Red too”

She was picky with strangers, until now only Bucky, Steve and the triplets were the only ones allowed to touch her.

“If she is up to then there’s no problem.”

“Would you like to help them too? You know I’m not that good with chemistry”

“I’m… I’m not up to it, thanks” Bucky said biting his lip.

“Why?”

“I’m not feeling good to talk”

“We are talking”

“With anyone else, please not today”

 _Then when?_ Steve wanted to ask but chose to swallow the words.

“What about a job?” That wasn’t the best topic but what the hell.

“What about it?” Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Why the sudden question?”

Steve licked his lips before answering. “You are doing a lot better Bucky, you are outside and it has been a month since you last episode, you even talk with the neighbors and…”

“Wait, wait, Steve,” Bucky sat up straight, Red managed to jump to the ground before he drop her off. “I’m not proud to say it, but I don’t feel capable of dealing with that kind of pressure yet. You were the one that said to take it easy.”

“You are in a state of conform.”

“What?” Bucky’s tone was the warning of an upcoming argument.

“You can’t deny all that improvement; but you are scare that if you try something different again you are going to screw it.”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am. Do not believe I wish you any harm, that’s the last thing I want for after all you have suffer. Bucky, all previous times you did it well; so there’s any problem, there’s anything telling you will not nail it.”

“That’s different”

“How?”

“You are not going to be there”

“Red could” Steve didn’t give it time for those words to sink, like hell he will be the one to hold back his friend.

“There’s no way someone will let me take her in”

“What’d you say if I tell you there is someone that will?”

“That it’s a lie…” Bucky made a pause analyzing what Steve had just said. “Wait, have… have you been job hunting for me?”

And there was the last drop to get the argument to begin. Bucky bolt himself up.

“What the hell Steve! You could have asked me at least!”

“You were going to say no” Steve tried to maintain his voice low. Some people were already staring at them.

“Damn right!” Bucky shouted raising his arms to give emphasis.

“Look,” he stepped up “I’m sorry, but you need to start giving the big steps instead of just stand still.” Bucky tried to interrupt him; Steve didn’t give him the chance “You already said I’m not going to be with you. I wasn’t with you when you went outside the apartment or when you let Mrs. Torres in cause she ran out of sugar and you invited her a cup of tea… you don’t need me.” Hell, he felt like crying.

“That… That’s not true… ”

“It’s ok though. What’s the point if you can’t put your own live on track by yourself?”

“That I’m not alone, maybe? Damn it Steve.” Bucky took a deep breath. There was no reason to refuse, but Bucky just didn’t want to do it. Besides, what would he do? There were not many jobs that would allow him some privacy and that do not need some experience in specific. “No”

“Bucky…”

“I don’t care what you have to say, I’m not doing it”

“At least talk with them”

“I’m not going.”

“Then he can come to the apartment”

“Why would they take the nuisance?”

“Cause it is Sam”

“I don’t know who the hell is Sam.”

“A really nice person and my coworker”

“I’m not working for Stark”

“Believe me, I would never suggest that”

They were standing opposite each other wordlessly, in an insignificant staring contest. Luckily the people around didn’t stop their routines and the few curios ones weren’t paying them any attention any more. When Bucky ended blinking first, he sighed in resignation.

“Steve, I know you are doing this for my wellbeing, and even if I hate it, thanks. But, it has been more than a year since I last worked, I don’t have any experience if is not to shoot something.”

“That means you’re considering have a talk with him” Steve answered. With a gesture of his hand he asked for them to leave, Bucky nodded to both statements.  “Relax it’s an easy job, maybe later you could jump to something bigger”

The started walking back to their apartment with Red between them.

“If I take it to begin with.”

oOo

Sam was a good person indeed.

The weird interview appointment was schedule one week after Steve broke the news about the work; right in the next day off both men. That week was martyrdom full of anxiety. Seven days suffering over what was he supposed to say, how was he supposed to act? Did Steve tell him about the incident? _Don’t be stupid, it his coworker of course he knows, in fact, maybe everyone in that fucking tower know_. What if he asks about his arm? What if _it_ was indispensable for the work? Oh, life surly sucks.

Steve tried his best to reassure him that it was going to be fine and Bucky had the decency of never heard him. Soon he spent more time wadded up in bed with Red or throwing up in the bathroom. Steve was about to call Sam and cancel it, but Bucky said full of bravery and with a tiny voice:

“Fuck it, don’t you dare make me back down now” Before vomiting again.

It was hell of a week, thanks the universe, the day of the meeting arrived, finally.

At 10 o’clock Sam was knocking on the door. It took Bucky seconds to deduce he was nice, polite and a little shit. He would let in some jokes and pretty shameful anecdotes about Steve and his bad luck with equipment or his uniform. There was an insinuation of a love story which made poor Steve blush furiously while asking to change the topic.

“But why Stevie? This are delightful news, I was worried you weren’t paying attention to your personal life because of me.”

“It’s not that interesting; it’s more a tragic story” Bucky caught a glimpse of sadness in Steve’s words.

“We have debts on when are they going to stop fooling around each other”

Both Bucky and Sam started laughing.

“Can we please concentrate on the real reason for this meeting, and not my personal life? Thank you.” Steve was fuming of embarrassment.

Yeah Sam was fine; he never asked about his arm or the incident. Bucky didn´t have problems on what to say or do. The interview went pretty ok.

“So, it would be on yours mother’s coffee shop”

“Yeah, she can be really strict but if you behave and fulfill whatever she asks you to do, you will be alright.”

“Mrs. Wilson is pure love,” Steve assured “and her cookies delicious”

“Capi if one day you get diabetes is going to be because those cookies and I don’t want the boss blaming me of your lack of control.”

“Nonsense, I have no idea what are you talking about.”

Bucky felt warm knowing that his whining for the last half a year hadn’t ruin Steve’s life. He had a more friends, a boss that even if most of the time was a prick he did care about his employers, a potentially love interest that for some reason he didn’t know about. Bucky was glad he wasn’t hindering him. And in some way jealously, because he wanted to form part of that wide world Steve was living in.

“Ok, you said it is not one of those shops always full of people;” Bucky asked and waited for Sam nod to continue “well, I’m sure I can try it.”

“Of course, of course but you will need to go see my mother to ask for the important information like payment and schedules.” Sam drew from his wallet a business card and handed it to Bucky “Here’s the address and the phone number.”

The card was of a bright pink with a lot of flowers in softer colors. It didn’t give the sense of a coffee shop but of a flower shop. On one side in golden letters it read _The Paradise_.

“Thanks”

Sam stood up announcing his departure. Bucky and Steve follow him some step in his way to the door when he stopped and turned around.

“Well it is something else really important that you must take in account before making a decision” the nervousness was evident in his words.

“Which is?” Bucky looked at Steve that was putting himself without blocking in all between hem and Sam.

Sam gulped loudly before dropping the bomb.

At first Bucky didn’t hear it, he just see the other man’s mouth moving. But there is an echo ringing in his head quite loudly but he couldn’t get what it said. _Witches_. The word came in a hidden whisper among all the noise inside and started to gain force.

What?

_Witches… witch… you_

A witch in the apartment?

When was the last time he was this close to one? Obviously that he was conscious of, who knows how many times he ran into one without knowing all the times he went outside. What if someone of the neighbors was a witch, Bucky have never thought about it. That’s why shutting everyone out of his mind was so helpful.

But in here the apartment in this moment? There was just one reality, he and the nice person standing in front of him. And that person was a witch.

The air got stuck in Bucky’s throat.  There is pain, like a headache, and more whispering in his ear; then coldness. _Pull it, pull it_. Screaming and more pain but now in his arms, he is not supposed to do it, he has to… help? _Shoot them, come on, shoot them all_. His body is trembling because of the coldness and his hand is moving on his own, no he didn’t want that. The gun, loose the gun. But he can’t, he just can keep shooting. _Good soldier, good soldier_. Soon there’s a lot of red in front of him; when the gun ran out of bullets, _finish the job_ , he knows how to end it with his hands. There is crying, a warm body under his hands.

Pain, pain and coldness, pain, pain and coldness.

Make it stop. The body is rigid now. _Good soldier, good soldier._ Make… make it stop!

“Bucky!”

Bucky blinked and stared into Steve’s arm wrapped around his neck. “What?”

He looked around, as far as he could move his head. The table of the living-room was broken, again, and some books had fallen from the shelves one was torn apart in two pieces. He looked up.

Sam was on the top of the book shelve with a gun pointing at him. Had he came to the apartment armed? _Of course he had, you are_ fucking _unstable, you already harmed a nurse and if they knew about the incident obviously they know about the phobia_.

“Sam please, just go.” Steve said with a raspy voice because of the force he was applying on his body to immobilize Bucky’s. He wasn’t letting go even if Bucky said it was fine, not until the other man was safe far away.

Sam nodded, jumped off falling in slow motion and started walking to the door never breaking eye contact with Bucky and lowering the gun.

When the door closed Steve finally let go Bucky. Both of them fall to the ground panting.

“So you didn’t feel the fucking need to tell me he was a fucking _witch_ ” said Bucky after a moment.

“You would have said no” was the answer he got and it made Bucky mad.

“What. The. Hell. Are you trying to do? Eh, Steve? Am I a fucking experiment to see if shock therapy works? Do you even care about me or how I feel? Do you seriously think direct confrontation is the damn answer?”

“Of course I care about you!”

“Then why?”

Steve didn’t answer; he looked at his friend with pity.

“Tell me!” Bucky shouted

“Because magic is not bad Bucky!” Steve hit the air with his hand “I though you already know… no, you have known it since our childhood”

“Excuse me but were you the one brainwashed and lost a fucking arm Steve?” Steve snapped his mouth shut. “Because last time I check, it was me!”

“I had fight against it too and I don’t hate it!”

“Oh, so is my fault for getting caught?”

“No!”

Silence surrounded them. No one looked to the other.

“Look, magic is not the problem.” Bucky raised his hand asking to not be interrupted just in case “I mean, look all the things that improved because of it. Medicine, mechanics, even food… but there’s also war and death” He started trembling of anger “The problem is the people that practice it”

“But without them all those first improvements you said couldn´t had happen”

“They can do whatever they want; they just have to stay away from me because I’m never trusting them again” He got up and went to his room shutting the door behind him.

Inside, Red is waiting for him in the bed. It seems she didn’t realize about the episode that took in the other room, or she does and decided to ignore it.

He lets himself fall into bed beside her. Red meowed once before accommodate herself against his armpit.

Bucky really did know magic nature wasn’t damage.

Steve and he have known each other since the first days of theirs lifes. Witches were more common in that time.  Witches population wasn’t descending as fast as nowadays; only 15 % of the world population was a witch. But they didn’t mind it.

Bucky remembered that in his first decade, every summer one day per week the old Mr. Jorge would sold ice cream. Each time he came with new flavors that one would never believe existed. The best part was that the heat won’t melt it and either way it kept frozen for you to taste it.

For some reason that was the most vivid memory Bucky had from his childhood and he hated it.

When they moved to a bigger city it became almost impossible to find magic. Sometimes they found it in the subway stations with paper birds or dragonflies flying above the sea of heads; a lady giving flowers of many colors that would never lost it’s scent to whoever seemed were having a bad day. Also, in independent shops selling clothes that changed into the color you prefer, of course, they cost a fortune, but they never charged you looking or try it on.

Magic had been part of Bucky’s live since always and he used to love it, to feel bad of not being a user. It could made a day better, people lives better. But it wasn’t always harmless.

Unconsciously, Bucky had been stroking his prosthesis in the middle of his thoughts. The shoulder suddenly started to stink, he tried to calm the pain by pressing in the zone it connects to the prosthesis. The pain grew to the point it wasn’t bearable. Bucky ended up removing it and scatter it away from the bed.

He didn’t left the room in the rest of the day, not even to eat.

 

It had been one week. He hadn’t put the prosthesis back and hadn’t talked with Steve since Sam visit, neither of them had tried. Even Steve stayed almost all the days in the tower. Bucky understand if he was angry, he almost killed his coworker damn it. Witch or not that’s not something right to do, Bucky had come to that conclusion after giving it a lot of thought.

He couldn’t deny Sam was _nice_ , that he had fun talking with the man, that he didn’t use his magic against him unless that weird levitation was his specialty but it wasn’t directed at him.

Bucky said he didn’t trust witches but he was willing to take Misses Sara medicine voluntarily, for all he knows she could be slowly poisoning him; and he didn’t hate her. Mostly of the time he forgets she was a magic user and sees her as a mere human. Their meeting hadn’t been bad; well his therapist did say she was a witch since the beginning so he got time to digest the concept.

Steve was at fault too, the actions he chose were precipitated. That didn’t justify the killing attempt. Argh, Bucky felt so bad he just wanted to apologies, to both of them.

“It won’t be that hard now that we can take out the surprise blow, right?”

Red meowed as if giving him the reason or maybe calling him stupid.

“Thanks”

The suddenly smell of pancakes caught his attention. So he got up of bed and went outside the room.

“Steve?” the aforesaid was cooking the pancakes with his back in his direction. “When did you arrive?”

“Just some minutes ago” Steve answered without turning around “Want some?”

Bucky didn’t answer; he walked to the table and took a seat and Red in the chair on his right. Steve started humming a song that seemed familiar but Bucky couldn’t put a name to it. He waited for his friend to finish and took seat too. There was a pile of pancakes for each one of them.

They started to eat in silence, except Red that refused to try them.

Bucky felt the words of the apology burning his throat so he opened his mouth.

“I’m sorry” Steve said.

“What?” Bucky last a second to respond.

“You were right; I should have told you that truth, I completely forgot about Misses Sara”

“If it makes feel you better I forgot about her most of the time” they stared at each other in silence “I’m sorry too, for losing control”

“It’s not like you could do something”

“I would like I could”

“You will, eventually” Steve approached his hand to Bucky’s over the table and gave him a reassuring squeeze.

“Thanks, for never giving up on me”

“Thanks for not hating me”

“How could I punk?

They chuckled again and returned to eat.

“So what are you going to do now?” Steve asked after a long pause.

Bucky took his time to think about it. Before knowing Wilson family were witches he consider working there. Steve said the lady was lovely and made good cookies; Sam said it was a quiet place to work in without the bustle of people. And he was doing well, except for the last week, but the point was to redeem himself a little.

 _You need to start giving the big steps instead of just stand still_ , or going back when things go south Bucky finished it.

“Do you think Mrs. Wilson would mind if I call her?”

Steve smiled. He reached into the pocket of his sweatshirt and pulled out a paper. He put it on the table in front of Bucky. It was the business card of _The Paradise_.

“There’s just one way to find out”

Bucky smiled too.

oOo

Yeah, he was going to try it, really.

His therapist said it was a great idea and encouraged him with some unnecessary words. He needed one week and two days to get the guts to make the call. For sure they didn’t want to know anything about him after the assassination attempt, he wouldn’t mind. Steve kept saying to try it though so he did. Mrs. Wilson had been quite gleefully when she knew who was calling, Bucky didn’t expect that… he took the phone away and looked down at it perplexed before resume the call.  Maybe Sam didn’t tell her anything, like, how stupid could that be? Pretty much. She asked him to come as soon as possible because she was short of employees.

So Bucky was stepping in front of _The Paradise_ at 9 on the morning the next day. The reflection on the glass on its right didn’t let him take a look to the insides and he didn’t try any other angle to avoid looking like a weirdo. His hands were sweating a lot Red sat between his foot looking up and mewing softly as if supporting him. He hoped Mrs. Wilson will not have problems with her... or the other thing.

_Take a deep breath buddy and do it._

His incoming was announced by a bell sounding like a piano scale, ascending when he opened the door and descending when it closed behind him, leaving the last cold winds of the winter outside. The insides were nice, simple and warm.

There were a handful of white wooden tables and chairs decorated with colorful flowers, a big shelve full of pants covering a whole wall, two doors with bathroom’s signaling and the counter with the cash register and a display case showing all kind of desserts. Behind this was a door that Bucky guessed led to the kitchen. The air of the store was fill with sugar and cocoa.

A couple occupied one table near where he was standing, they were engaged in each other sharing a piece of pay with strawberries; one of them made a brief comment about Red. On the table near the counter was a student, judging by his uniform of some rich school, typing furiously on his laptop; he had a tall glass half full with coffee.

Just one second later a middle-aged woman walked through the door behind the counter, wiping flour ay from her hands on her apron. Bucky assumed she was the boss.

“Good morning” the woman beat him with the greetings.

“Morning”

“You Must be Barnes” she glanced toward Red.

Bucky didn’t answer because of obvious reasons.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Darlene” Mrs. Wilson started rambling not losing any time while asking him to follow her with a gesture of her hand. “The hours are from nine to two or from two to seven, choose the one you are more comfortable with. But among us you’d do me a great favor if you take the morning; my two employees thought it’d be a great idea to break some bones.” they reached the counter and she handed him a menu “You’ll need to memorize the dessert of the day, there is a different one for every day of the week and I changed them every month. For now I’ll be in charge of the cash register and the cooking and you of the orders.” Now they went through the door that in fact leaded to the kitchen “You’d have twenty minutes to rest, you choice when. You can break food or take some coffee of the shop, it’s on the house. If it’s made you more comfortable you can go in there and sit” she pointed to one black door with pink glass. “Clint and Kate accommodated it to be the best resting room” Bucky raised an eyebrow and Mrs. Wilson chuckled. “Their words, but it’s indeed good. Or could you could go outside” she pointed at the back door “or hang in the front of the shop, again, your choice”.

Mrs. Wilson approached a hanger and took an apron, she handed it to him.

“I don’t care how you come dressed as long as you are not mistaken for a beggar; but of course I want the hair tied.”

Bucky stared at the piece of cloth.

“So the work is mine?”

“Only if you want it”

“But…” he didn’t move his hands.

"Barnes, Steve and Sammy have spoken very well of you to me, so I have no reason to distrust you so far.”

“But I…” he started trembling _I almost killed your…_

“I know you are afraid of witches” she said stopping his train thoughts, she raised her whispering something and the broom resting in one corner flew to her hand. “And I know you know what am I,” she whispered again and now it was a muffin that came in flying from the other side of the door and landed in her free hand “but you coming here say something of what you want do about it”

Bucky feared he will react violently any moment. But he remembered the paper birds of the station instead, the hummingbirds and the cardinals that flew in between the people landing on the children’s head.

 “I want… to believe again” was his time to whisper but anything came to him.

Mrs. Wilson smiled.

“Maybe you won’t like this, maybe is a big step to take so you have the right to turn back if you want to or because you feel like it is the best to do, but please, consider this like a favor in which Sam or Steve has nothing to do, letting you in was my decision, my decision to trust you. You have to decide if you are going to trust me” she offered him the muffin. “I won’t be mad, because being afraid is ok.”

Bucky nodded and took the muffin.

“Alright, would you like to start now?” she offered the apron again.

“Yes, please” he kept the dessert on his mouth while putting on the cloth “but about the arm…”

“You think it would be a real problem to you?”

Bucky shaked his head.

“Alright” Mrs. Wilson winked and went to the table where she left some dough “Please go and check if the customers want anything else”

Bucky nodded and took a step towards the door.

“Oh yeah, about the cat” Mrs. Wilson voce stopped Bucky on his way. “I won’t have any problem if it doesn’t bother the customers and keep from now on a way of my working place, understood?

“Yes ma’am” Bucky said and Red meowed.

The hours went by pretty fast, apart from the three customers that were already in the shop when Bucky arrived, he only attended other four. Red sat on the top of the shelve and slept most of the time, she only came down when Bucky took his break. They went out through the back door to an empty alley. Bucky sat on the step and Red in front of him; both of them prove that in deed the cookies were delicious, even Red asked for more. Mrs. Wilson was glad to provide them other four.

When he realized it was time for his leaving. The shift arrived talking with a young lady wearing only purple. The employee went to the back to left their bag but the purple girl greeted the boss excited saying something about recovering pretty fast and coming back soon, Bucky realized she had one arm bandaged. When he tried to say goodbye, the young lady glared up to him with curiosity. The sudden deliberate attention bothered him so he gave Mrs. Wilson a weird gesture of his head and left, trying his best to ignore the lady in purple and the anxiety hitting on his chest.

Steve bombed Bucky about his day when he arrived. Bucky was glad to said it was a good day and that he took the job.

 

The lady in purple, happen to be one of the employees that ‘broke some bones’, which apparently was just a dislocate wrist for her. Since Bucky started working on the mornings she asked for a shift in the afternoon, she claimed she got things to do in the morning but he felt it had something to do with him.

_Maybe the employees are also aware_

Bucky considered working alone because it was likely that the other guy will ask a shift too. Whatever, he was doing fine until now.

He knew that Mrs. Wilson specialty were spells like attracting things, making the broom sweep on its own, the plants to blossom or a bell that ring like a piano scale. It all worked by saying what she wanted backwards; she would use simple spells because they drain her energy and she could get dizzy.

“You know how the age pulls in such big limits. You should have seen when I was younger, once I lifted a house; I assure you I had a good reason… oh yeah, one friend found out there was a treasure underground, there was one indeed. Do not ask me what we did with it, it’s a secret”

She would eventually ask first if it was ok to make any spell. At first it felt quite overwhelming, and although he said yes he would walk away to the bathroom or the rest room but it eventually get where he could said to his boss that it was ok for her to never ask him again. Bucky, to his surprise, accepted Mrs. Wilson magic fast, she even once changed his apron color to match Red’s fur and he love it.

It was indeed few people that went to the shop. Bucky never realized if anyone of the customers were a witch, it’s not like he was going to ask each one of them, that would we stupid and dangerous, why would he wanted more stress? So he clung to the idea that there was none. Some customers came quickly just to buy and go, others stayed, but like three or five asked many times if Clint was coming back any time soon, that they missed or needed his coffee, that they missed him. Kate would complain about keeping him save, apparently he couldn’t stay still for too long.

It wasn’t too much but Bucky started wondering about the guy and started making questions.

So the broken bones situation was his fault and it would take some more days for _Clint_ to be able to leave his house, words of his pissed doctor, because of two broken ribs and a dislocated shoulder. The hell was he doing with the purple lady? It wasn´t Bucky businesses but when Steve, who apparently knew the guy, said it was normal for him to scratch himself from time to time he got concerned. Who would let that disaster alone? Bucky will always deny that his stupid protective mother hens instincts started tingling for a guy he hadn’t even met yet.

On the other side, if his coffee was that good Bucky needed to taste it; Mrs. Wilson stated he would never find anything like it.

Anyway, Steve said he would like Clint, Bucky didn’t tell him his doubts.

 _Perhaps we won’t even meet_.

But he did meet him.

Red was in her common spot above the shelve looking down on Bucky who was cleaning one table, when the door opened with the known ringing. All Bucky knew was that at the next second Red launched herself to the entrance and landed in the upcoming person that shouted in surprise for the sudden projectile that hit them on the chest. Bucky turned worried as to the idea of failing the only rule for Red. He found a guy reloaded on the door, half standing half siting with the ball of fur meowing loudly at him. The first thing Bucky noticed was the band aids covering the guy’s arms, he couldn’t see his face. He approached quickly asking forgiveness.

“I’m so sorry…”

But the guy laughed heedless of what he said and patted Red heads, she answered to the attentions purring and rubbing her head against the guy’s hand.

“Hey, where have you been?” he asked happily.

“Excuse me?” Bucky asked instead.

The guy looked up to him.  The alert _hot guy_ ringed in Bucky’s head, he chose to kick it.  There were more band aids: on his right cheekbone and his nose.  A messy blond hair framed two _pretty_ blue eyes.

“Hey there” the _hot (shut it)_ guy said with an easy smile.

“You know my cat?”  Bucky couldn’t help the sharp tone.

The guy glanced down were red still was purring against his hand.

“It looks like it,” he glance up again, he still had the smile “well I kind of lost her a couple month ago?”

“What?”

“Yeah, Kate left the window open and she went out and never came back” his attention returned to Red taking her in a hug “Oh, I thought you were dead. Lucky got bad after your leaving, we missed you”.

Red meowed and rested her head on his shoulder. Bucky didn’t know what to do, it looked that each one liked so much the other; he felt uncomfortable to interrupt them. But

“I... I’m sorry she arrived to my apartment and she just stayed” his voice sounded a little off. Did that mean he had to give her back? That’s the right thing to do, wasn’t it? Well, he didn’t want to. Sue him. Maybe it wasn’t the best move but Bucky was determined to fight.

“Nah, it’s ok, I’m relived she found another place to stay.” there was a slight of sadness in his voice but he composed it right away “So you found a new friend? Did you watch over him good? Yes? Good girl.” They guy got up with Red in one arm. He offered the other one in a salute to Bucky. “I’m Clint.”

Bucky took the others hand faster than planned; he didn’t know how he managed to not crush it with his enthusiasm that was coming from anywhere. The famous Clint, finally.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Bucky”

Clint’s eyes wide for a second before he shook his hand away from Bucky’s, he turned his face away looking a little bit flustered. Bucky felt a pinch in his chest.

_Great_

 “So, you are the new guy?” Clint asked scratching behind his ear. Bucky saw a pinch of pink in the only ear he could see, Clint was wearing a hearing aid.

“Um yeah” Bucky cocked his head with curiosity.

“Good, good, I’m an employee too”

“Yeah, Mrs. Wilson told me, well only your name though”

“That’s good, that’s good” Clint’s ear went even more pink contrasting with the purple of the apparatus.

An awkward silence surrounded them. Red used that exact moment to come in between them, in support of Bucky, smacking gently Clint on his healthy cheek as if reclaiming some of his attention. Clint laughed in automatic forgetting the situation. Without saying anything more to Bucky he carried her all the way to the kitchen.

 “Darlene, why didn’t you tell me Widow was here?” He practically shouted when he opened the door.

“Because I didn’t know they were the same, Clint she can’t be in here” were the greetings he got back. “Where are you going?”

“Well, we need to catch on the last days”

“Clint, if you aren’t going to work you can´t go in there”

“Not fair” Clint came to the front again wearing an apron too, but his was purple. “Sorry pal, we must wait to the end of work” Red meowed and jumped off his embrace to get to her spot.

“You’re starting today?” Bucky hurried to ask with the intent to avoid the silence.

“Yep, but don’t worry I won’t take your customers from you” Clint answered winking at him; it seems the awkwardness disappeared “I’ll be in charge of the casher.”

Bucky nodded before going back to his task of cleaning the tables.

There was any problem the rest of the day, Clint stayed behind the casher playing with a pen. Having a coworker made Bucky’s part easier. Now he didn’t have to go to the kitchen for every order, so no more laps.

The only time he got to talk with Clint about something else besides work was when he realized Bucky called the cat Red. They got in a heated discussion about which name was cooler if Red or Black Widow. At the end he had to admit that the second one was better. He was still salty about it when he got to the apartment and Steve laughing at him didn’t help on the slightest. Widow didn’t mind the change of name and Clint didn’t mind for him to keep her.

Bucky thanked Clint buying him some cookies of Mrs. Wilson, and Clint asked for his phone number.

“If you don’t mind, of course”

Bucky felt bad to tell him he didn’t had one.

oOo

“I got to ask” Bucky said while he was passing a plate to Clint for him to wash it.

“What?” Clint was too concentrated on to not let the plate fall from his grip. In the ten minutes they had spent doing the dishes he already broke a vase when it slipped because of the soap.

They had been working together for four days. Bucky thought they had a good starting but the previous days and the current one, saying Clint had been avoiding him was too much, but surely he was being distant.  At least he hadn’t asked for a shift.

All this time and the first person Bucky got curious, _let’s said it like that_ , was this disaster of human being. Or magnet disaster was a better term?

For what he observed in the last days: Clint never brushed his hair, he wore it in every direction possibly; he liked purple, every day he wore a shirt of that color; he had a naïve look that was an absolutely lie; he could easily managed any kind of clients, it wasn’t regular but sometimes there were customers a bit difficult, Clint yesterday handled a man’s problem with his pie pretty good; Mrs. Wilson adored him and Steve kept saying he was a good man.

But Clint wasn’t talking to Bucky aside from the necessary to work just fine.

Bucky’s curiosity only had to do with making new friends. Bucky didn’t want to assume meeting Clint has anything to do with the thought; until now he it was enough with Steve, he was hell of a good friend. Since when did he was so desperately?

Wonders of the universe.

One good point was that Clint didn’t react when he saw Bucky’s prosthesis, not even a pity look.

Bucky still used long sleeves, people on the street weren’t too subtle. But he would use tank top on the apartment in front of Steve; and he would roll up his sleeves a little when he was working. Bucky couldn’t do a lot with his prosthesis, it was vile hard plastic. His therapist had once commented bout getting a new one, one more functional that could move by Bucky’s will like the real one. Bucky couldn’t afford that, he would never could, besides he was scare of asking what those improves involve. So he had learned to deal his life with that piece of plastic.

He got curious about the hearing aids but in due respect of the treatment he got he shut it. But Bucky couldn’t help feeling that Clint may understand him… perhaps that was the reason he wanted him to like him so bad.

So what was the problem? Bucky feared that if anyone had said Clint about the incident before they had now. What if he was scare of a mentally unstable? Shit, what if he was a witch? What if Sam told him about that time in the apartment? But Mrs. Wilson knew anything about it. Or the lady in purple, who apparently was pretty good friends with Clint, said something bad about him even so they had never talked? Shit

_Shit shit shit... No, calm down, damn it._

“Do… you have any problem with me?”

Clint stopped washing the plate and looked up at him.

“What?”

“Well, is just that…” gosh, Clint’s piercing gaze was putting him nervous “look, I know I had a shitty back story and you had every right to distrust me and it’s ok, at least we can work together without any problem… but this is my first job in some time and I don’t want to fuck it up or make you uncomfortable and...”

“What, no!” Clint startled Bucky with his sudden shout. He looked at his soaped hands for a moment before continuing “No, I don’t know what are you talking about… that backstory, it’s not my businesses man. Definitely you are not making me nervous, I swear it.” He reached his ear and started scratching it even so he still got soap in his hand “You are not the problem, you might be in some way, but is mostly me, I mean, I don’t know, it was sure not your fault but…”

“Barton” Bucky called him to get him out of his rambling, when Clint focused on him again he continued. “What it is?”

“ _I_ don’t want to make _you_ uncomfortable” he sounded pained.

“How?”

The hell was going on? It wasn’t supposed to be the other way? Clint took a deep breath, Bucky felt he couldn’t breathe.

“Becauseyouaren’tingoodtermswithmagic” Clint said in one going closing his eyes.

“I didn’t understand you, Barton”

“I’m a witch” he hadn’t yet opened his eyes.

“Oh” was all Bucky could say after a long pause.

“¿Oh?”

Really, oh.  He had already considered the option, so… it didn’t felt so bad? Four, now there were four witches in his live, well he haven´t seen Sam but he was part of it like it or not, and three just in the last month. This time Bucky didn’t felt rage or fear, he managed to concentrate on the idea of Clint being a human first of all.  To concentrate on the idea of wanting Clint to like him, _yeah that’s a good concept_. At the back of his brain there was a voice saying _no, dangerous, pain_ , but Bucky pushed it back with force. It wasn’t as if going killing every witch he found would help him, for sure it would make it worse.

_I don’t want to hurt Clint, just like I don’t want to hurt Steve, Sam and Mrs. Wilson._

Bucky realized Clint didn’t seem to fear him, or at least he didn’t show it.

“Did you know why I hate magic?” Bucky’s voice was a whisper.

Clint asked him to repeat it because his hearing aids weren´t that good with low sounds.

“Did you know why I…” he tried again louder but Clint interrupted him before finishing the question.

“No, Darlene told me it was a delicate topic so I should go on easy with this but she doesn’t have to tell me anything in specific. I’m just another employee.”

Bucky didn’t know if that was better. So Clint knew he got a problem with magic but not why.

“Does it bother you?”

Clint laded his head; he seemed to consider his answer.

 “No, not really… I got my own issues with magic” he said finally as if he was confiding a secret to Bucky. “So, you don´t have to worry about seeing me doing any trick” finished with more confidence.

“Please, don’t let me to burden you; I did well with Mrs. Wilson magic”

“It’s ok man, I deal with my problems on my own way.” Clint put one of his easy smiles.

Both of them considered the talk done so they slowly retook their task of doing the dishes; Bucky handing the plates when Clint finish with one. But he got the need to verify is everything was really going to be ok between them.

“By the way” Clint started “Would you stop the Barton thing, it makes me feel old, man Clint is ok”

“Then, please stop with the man I have a name” Bucky felt a smile forming in his mouth.

“It is ok  Barnes? Or you prefer James?”

“Bucky if you don’t mind”

“Where does that even come from?”

“From Buchanan”

Clint looked at Bucky horrified and mouthed a silent ew.

“I know”

oOo

Things went pretty good after _the talk_. It took some time for both of them to get plenty comfortable around each other; Bucky felt bad that it seemed Clint was doing the major part.

Clint was indeed pretty great, a person easy to get on with. He made silly jokes; played innocents pranks on Bucky (he even once applied the bucket of water above the door, obviously Mrs. Wilson didn’t like it); helped Mrs. Wilson with the bakery, Bucky felt happy that whenever Clint learned some new dessert he would ask him to taste it first. Hating him was off question.

He found out that Clint liked to ramble, a lot. Now Bucky knew that he had the best dog called Lucky because he loved pizza; that he owned the building he was living in which wasn’t a big deal but it was enough, he had a good relationship with the other tenants; that he was single; that he had an ex-wife; that he used to work at Stark’s, he avoided the topic pretty fast and didn’t give any details; and that he had a protégé. 

Bucky finally met Kate, the purple lady that kept glaring at him all the time but was never rude. Their relationship was more of siblings: Clint presuming the girl as the best of the world every time he got the opportunity and Kate being overprotective of Clint.

“So you have a problem with magic” Kate asked Bucky one day when Clint couldn’t hear them; oh if looks could kill.

“Yeah” Kate was ready to talk back but Bucky didn’t let her “But I don’t have any problem with Clint or Mrs. Wilson, otherwise I wouldn’t be working here.”

She kept staring at Bucky for a minute.

“You better” she said and took off.

Kate wasn’t a witch. But for what Clint insinuated once, she would like to be, she wasn’t with him for that reason though. Actually Clint didn’t know why she started to follow him, but she grew on him quickly.

With time Kate stopped with the glares. She wasn’t still too friendly but she would ask Bucky about his day, about Steve.

“He is so handsome Clint and you dare to never introduce us”

“He could be your grandpa kiddo”

“That’s not true; he’s Barnes age, doesn’t he?”

About magic too, as if she was tempting the ground.

“Clint will one day do magic again, I know it” Kate said once. “He needs to”

Apparently he was near a year without using it; Bucky didn’t even know his specialty. When he asked Kate what it was, she had looked at him amused but didn’t get to say anything because Mrs. Wilson shut her.

“If Bucky wants to know he should ask him, besides you know how he feels of people talking about his magic young lady”

“That bad?” Bucky started wondering if it was something dangerous… as mind control. He shivered just with the memory. _Shut it, shut it_.

“It’s personal” Mrs. Wilson looked sad.

For Bucky it was good having only Mrs. Wilson doing magic in the shop. Not so much pressure. But soon he started feeling bad for Clint. He assured him again it wasn’t his fault; that he even felt like he wasn’t able to use it anymore.

“You feel it inside you. A warm spot in your chest, like having a gentle hand always pressed there” Clint tried to explain magic to Bucky “It is there since you born, my mother once told me that  babies have a red dot on their chest an if you touch it you feel the warm too. When you start growing up it decolored but the witch never stops feeling it” he clenched and unclenched his hands “It’s… natural. You can use it without thinking, it just flow out making your wishes true”

So witches were pretty powerful on their childhood. Their magic didn’t have limits and as they grow the energy escapes sometimes in small amounts and other times in bigger amounts, the reason that when they hit puberty more or less at theirs fifteens they develop a specialty. Yeah, witch’s babies were considered the most dangerous of all of them because of their lack of control, their parents were in charge of dealing with theirs blurts of magic. The children gained control after five years living, normally.

“But when you deny it, the warm decreases. There are witches that lost it just because of that.” Clint pressed a hand to his chest “It feels like a hole full of coldness, sometimes the warm return weakly but it doesn’t las t to much” 

Bucky didn’t have the guts to ask the important question. He even feared the answer. So he left the topic to make Clint feel better too. He concluded he didn’t like a sad Clint.

Yeah, Bucky liked Kate too. It amused him that Widow didn’t seem to like her though; she would scrap her clothes or push her out of the chair she was using or hiss at her if she tried to go near Clint or Bucky if she was with them.

“The little shit doesn’t understand yet I was here first”

“She seems to never care”

“Shut up Barnes”

Working became Bucky’s life, no; it became his last echelon for his routine. Since his first appalling attempt jogging with monster Steve, he kept running every morning and now he could go with him at his pace, his running pace. So he would go running at seven, right away when he woke up, came back to the apartment took a shower, go to work, stay half Kate’s working hours talking with Clint; to finally got to the apartment  prepared the dinner and wait for Steve to eat together.

At 23:00 he lied himself in bed and took the medicine… and repeat.

It was pleasant. Of course the fear was still there, the anxiety too… constantly stalking.

“I’m scare I’m going to hurt them anytime Steve” Bucky said stroking Widow’s head absent minded.

“It’s ok”

“No it isn’t, only Mrs. Wilson knows how bad I could get. Clint and Kate don’t know a shit”

“Then tell them” Steve said as if it was so easy.

“They would hate me” he was getting a little angry.

“How are you sure?”

“I killed people Steve”

“It wasn’t you” the same words Steve used always.

“My hand, my gun” the same answer Steve was always going to get.

Silence surrounded them.

“You would surprise yourself” Steve said before going to his room.

Bucky consider the option, he really did. Maybe one day.

For now he was glad of what he had accomplished. One afternoon Bucky was capable to take all his clothes out of the boxes and put them in the closet. Other day, his therapist judged it was ok to reduce the session to just one per week. He even got a cell phone, so now  he could text with Clint after work.

 _No Steve, that doesn’t say anything_.

Yeah, Bucky was doing great.

oOo

“A bow” Bucky arched a brow.

“Yeah a bow, with the string and the arrows” Clint imitate the motion of firing one with his hands “A bow”

They had stopped filling the showcase when Clint pointed out knew how to use a bow. Bucky barely crossed the door when Mrs. Wilson decided to change all the desserts to a topic theme: lemons. For three hours she and Clint had being baking. Finally they could send some of them to the hungry diners that waited patiently.

“I can’t believe that”

“Excuse you but archery is a very famous sport, internationality!”

Mrs. Wilson cough reminded them to continue, they pleased.

“But as a hobby?”

“It’s fun” Clint shrugged.

“Doesn’t sound true… or save coming from you” Bucky teased.

“Oh how dare you?” he huffed indignantly.

“Forgive me, but I can’t see you manipulating anything sharp”

“Oh you would be surprise” Clint wiggled his eyebrows suggestive.

“Come on, you even have problems with the mixer” Bucky completely ignored the gesture definitely for the better.

“That thing hates me and it isn’t sharp”

“You managed to cut your finger with it”

“Like I said, it hates me, besides I dare you to put one finger in there”

“I´m not that stupid”

“Oh, you hurt my feelings, my friend” Clint smiled at an idea that popped in his mind “If you don’t believe me why won’t you come with me to the range? I will prove myself to you”

“Are you that desperate to impress me?”

“No, to shut your pie hole”

Lately Bucky felt comfortable enough to go for a walk with Clint once in a while. His presence gave Bucky some kind of weird calm, he even managed to survive in a stadium full of people, he obviously had to sit between Clint and Kate with his shoulder rubbing _by mistake_ against the first one and Widow sitting on his head giving him the feeling she was watching his backs. Bucky didn’t even remember why they went.

Clint gave Bucky so much calm that he was able to get closer to such powerful magic. He had met a handful of withes, all them understood Bucky’s situation without telling them too much.

But then he met the twins: Wanda and Peter, other Clint’s unofficial protégés. They worked in private security. The second one could slow the time at his will he said it gave him the feeling of moving at super speed… but the first one was scary, she had the capacity of a toddler, her energy never decreased. Just by pointing with her hand she could lift a man, or destroy walls or… getting inside peoples mind.

That was the first time Bucky snapped in front of Clint.

Everything was going good until Peter said proudly what his sister could do. The same words resonated in his head in a painful litany piercing his brain.

 _Good soldier_  

His body moved quickly, quite quickly. If it wasn’t for Wanda who reacted in time pushing him on the other direction, Bucky could have catch Peter by the neck. Wanda was ready to attack but Clint stood in the middle asking her to step down and somehow, he managed to talk Bucky out of his state.

When Bucky came back he found Clint with a bruise on his cheek and a big smile. Behind him the twins were in combat pose and Widow was hissing loudly at him.

 Bucky wanted to cry but hi instead shouted at Clint.

“You should have let her to take me down!”

 “No, that’s stupid”

The twins relaxed their bodies and looked at them with curiosity. Clint apologized to them and Bucky tried to run away, obviously stupid Clint didn’t let him. They ended in Clint’s apartment, he dragged Bucky effortless.

Buck felt his head heavy and his body tired, so he just let himself be guided.

“You aren’t going anywhere until you calm yourself, completely” Clint stated when he pushed Bucky on the coach.

He late brought sheets and a hot drink that Bucky couldn’t gave a name or a taste. It was a long day and a long night. The first in who knows how long without taking the medicine.

Clint didn’t pressure Bucky to talk; he let him a lone in the coach with Widow’s only company. She settled at his side with her back touching his thigh.  Bucky stayed in a state of absent mind all the time, quiet. But one minute after eleven Bucky’s hands started trembling and his body to sweat in coldness. He knew what he needed and it wasn’t near. Bucky tried to not blink afraid of falling asleep, of meeting the nightmares. Without realizing he started to cry, between the hiccups he heard Widow meowing loudly. The next thing he knew was that a pair of arms surrounded him strongly without harm.

Clint’s mouth resting against his nape sent shivers through his body.

Bucky gripped to that closeness with force looking for an anchor… no, it was the life guard that will help him to float away… maybe one day, forever. That night he talked about the incident with someone besides his therapist.

He talked about being a cop and how proud he was. About the call the station got one day, a bank robbery. They got in time to stop the thieves of running away but that meant they locked themselves in with the hostages. The experts said everything was going well but, how could they know? One of the thieves asked for some police officer to get in, something about theirs terms so there were no problems. They agreed and Bucky was the one to go in. How could they know they weren’t planning to surrender? That they were playing with them? That they were witches?

Bucky just gave one step inside the bank and one man said something fast in a strange language and he lost his will. He saw only red. He could remember clearly what he did, how many lives he took. He got free because a partner shot the guy that controlled him to death. It didn´t end right there. One witch that was still alive in an outburst of rage and despair pull one of Bucky’s arms. It felt like it was a cable pulling it with the help of a truck. The arm wasn´t ripped, it was cut but oh it felt like the first.

Between the pain and jumble in his head, his brain decided a coma was the best way to overcome the situation.

That night Bucky spent it crying in Clint’s arms. He said nothing just listened, but Bucky could tell he was crying too, in silence.

That nigh Bucky realized he _liked_ Clint.

Bucky couldn’t put a face to his last boyfriend. He knew there had been someone and that they were together for a couple of months… perhaps a little more.  Steve said it had long ended before the incident when he asked him. 

It wasn’t as if Bucky was expecting to have something with Clint, hell he was even surprised that he was considering it or at least trying to convince himself otherwise. Bucky was rusty, he got to admit that.

But how Clint could _like_ someone like him? So broken, it didn’t matter if he could comprehend, so their relationship didn’t change a bit after that.

Just a friendship was enough.

So they went to the range after their shift ended. Kate made a tantrum because she wanted to go too but Mrs. Wilson said no.

 “Don’t worry Katie Kate we can go on Saturday again”

“Maybe I can get Steve to go too”

With that she was pleased to stay.

At first Bucky walked some steps behind Clint and Widow, she was jogging to maintain his pace, until he asked him to go at his side. They did the way in silent, but it was a comfortable silent.

They got to the range in ten minutes; it was a building of three floors. Clint said it has two more floors down too. At the reception a woman, Clint called her Sharon, rent them one bow and seven wooden arrows, his companion asked them explicitly and Sharon asked him to bring them back in one piece this time.

“I can´t promise the moon darling”

“I’m being serious sweetheart, one more broken arrow and I will start charging you the triple” 

“Ok, ok I’ll do my best”

Sharon groaned but said a muffled thanks. She then repaired in Widow.

“Oh, you found her? I’m glad” She didn’t comment on her going in with them, perhaps she had do it plenty of times before.

They went to the first floor down. Bucky was surprised it was illuminated as if the sun was in there but it didn’t burn; there wasn’t any lights bulbs neither. At least, Bucky was more comfortable with magic and all its presentations. Sometimes it amazed him all the applications it might have.

Without waiting any time, Clint placed himself behind the limit line and prepared the first shoot, there were four targets. For the next half an hour Clint had been presuming he’s good aim. He would draw patterns on the targets he even spelled his name; or getting the four targets in the center; or tracing the circles.

“You’re in front of the person with the best aim of the world” Clint said walking to the targets to get the arrows again.

“Really? Who says?”

“Dah” Clint pointed to the arrows still in place before pulling them out.

“There could be someone better”

“Oh so we keep being an asshole instead of accepting the true” he was at back of the line again.

“Call me skeptical”

“Well Mr. Skeptical last time I check that was the true but if you need more evidence, please, allow me to enlighten you”

“Of course”

Clint took another arrow, put it on position, stretched the string and let it go. It hit the center, predictable. Without much thought he took another arrow and shot it even faster. Bucky felt the need to clap. The second arrow hit the center too cutting the first one in half.

“So?” Clint turned around with a cocky smile.

“I give in” Bucky raised his arms in surrender.

“Of course you do”

Clint looked back at his masterpiece.

“Sharon will be mad”

“I know”

 

On Saturday they went to the range with Kate and Steve as how they have promised. Kate wasn’t as good as Clint but she was hella plenty good.

“One day I’m going to surpass him”

“You have to grow first Katie Kate”

Kate offered teach how to shoot to Steve, he did it only once with a lot of trouble, the arrow barely hit the target way too far of the center. Clint asked Bucky if he didn’t want to try it, he declined pleading that his missing arm wouldn’t let him, the expert archer offered to be his other arm. Bucky’s face didn’t heat up because of the thought of having Clint so close, no, it was because… it was hot in the range, yeah that was it. He declined a little bit harsh. Steve was smiling at him from the other side. The fucker.

Widow sat on Bucky’s lap all the time they were there. When they left, Sharon actually congratulated Clint for giving the arrows in good conditions. Well, he didn’t want to pay the triple for it. Clint and Kate got something to do so Bucky and Steve went back to the apartment.

“So” Steve started, he was carrying a sleepy Widow with her head hanging off his arms.

“What?” Bucky hoped his death glare was enough for the little shit to stop it. It didn’t.

“I told you you’d like him”

“Shut up you punk” Bucky hit him friendly on the shoulder. He should have never told him about his feelings.

“When are you asking him out?”

“Uh, never?” really that was a stupid question.

“Bucky…”

“Leave it"

They spent the rest of the day babysitting the Miller’s triplets. Their mother wet to them when they had just arrived, she got a call from the hospital and needed to leave right away. Bucky was the one to accept. They kept them busy with games and movies and when Widow woke up she entertained them for a couple hours; maybe they have underrated their stamina. Finally at ten o’clock the kids were scattered on the floor above a mishmash of sheets and pillows. Soon after, their mother came to pick them. Bucky and Steve helped her to carry them to her apartment.

Back to their apartment they had for a quick dinner reheated lasagna from a store. Bucky lied himself in bed in time, he since _that night_ Bucky haven’t miss any dose he could try… no. What’s the need? He just took the two drops when his phone rang. Fighting to keep his eyes open he read Clint’s name on the screen, he opened it.

‘Good night Bucky bear ;)’

Bucky smiled, Clint made it a habit to send him a good morning and good night text.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘It’s a smiling face winking at you ;)’

‘Oh, ok, night Clint’

He considered for a moment before sending another text.

‘;)’

‘Hehe, thanks ’

Bucky barely left his phone on the night stand before he shut into the unconscious world.

oOo

Soon spending time in Clint’s apartment turned part of Bucky’s routine; not only for a couple of hours but all day and the night too. He carried his medicine with him, Clint never made a commentary about it, it gave Bucky the suspicion he already knew what it was.

He finally got to meet Lucky, the pizza dog. He had been staying with Kate for a couple months; it was like if they share his custody. The dog was happy to be reunited with his feline friend. 

Both humans spent the time talking shit or gossip a little. Clint told Bucky Steve and Tony were something before, he didn’t know why they left it but according to Sam they were at it again just neither of them wanted to give the first step.

Clint was willing to talk a little about his work at Stark Industries; he was a bodyguard and Tony seems to call time in time to offer his work back. He would go to him and only him to work on his hearing aids; he was the only one Clint trust with his ears and Tony never charged him for them, it made Clint feel bad but Tony would answer that he couldn’t pay the price anyway.

Sometimes he would hang out at the Tower to visit Bruce, Thor, Pepper, Sam and Steve; his new friends.

Soon Bucky realized there were days Clint would prefer to sound off the world. At first were just days he absent himself of work, well sometimes was because of his nature to hurt himself so it was a little difficult to deduce which reason was. Kate would gave him the answer with just a gaze.

Bucky would go to his apartment after work and hope for Clint to realize he had visits.

For those days Bucky asked Clint to teach him ASL because writing on paper or texting was to slow, It didn’t matter Clint said he could read lips. It took him months of practice and books to finally talk with his hands and his body, sometimes he would miss some words but Clint thanked him anyway for trying so hard.

Soon Bucky felt that he lived more in that apartment than in Steve’s, his friend didn’t mind it.  Steve was happy for him, he would look sad sometimes though. Even so he kept bothering Bucky to ask Clint out on a date and he would answer that he didn’t wanted to ruin it.

“How come?” 

“He’s not even gay or bi Steve”

“Have you asked him?”

“Uh no, it would be really awkward and what if he doesn’t feel the same?”

“That’s why you got to ask”

“Oh yeah? Did you already ask Stark?”

Steve would say no so both would called it a tie, a ridiculous tie.

Bucky was fine with whatever Clint was willing to offer him. He didn’t felt the need to rush things and throw everything to the trash. It was better to go safe.

 

Clint managed to convince Bucky that the roof was a good place for coffee in the company of one of the best views of the city. Indeed it was, the view maybe not that perfect, but the sunset was a nice plus. Lucky was lying on the floor with Widow above him and Clint and Bucky sitting on the cornice with their leg hanging out.

That wasn’t the first time Bucky drank Clint’s coffee, although it was good he hadn’t found yet what it made it so special. He already question Clint about it but all he said was.

“It’s a secret”

Some birds were flying back to their trees to pass the night and Clint swore he knew every name of those birds; apparently it was just the name Clint gave them as in Lucky and Black Widow. He recites a lot of names.

“Then you are a person of dogs, cats and birds?” Bucky asked when he got the other man to shut up.

“No; just dogs.”

Bucky pointed with his head at Widow that was now moving rhythmically iher tail to amuse Lucky.

“Ok, then I’m a Black Widow person too” he chuckled “And the birds ... I'm only jealous.”

Both of the men took a sip of their respective coffee.

“Are you jealous of Sam?”

Clint burst laughing spilling grand part of his coffee. “Aw coffee no” he shook his shirt in a ridiculous attempt to remove the drops “Yeah, in some way, I guess” answered at the end.

Bucky offered his that was half full, Clint took it gladly.

“Me too”

That night Bucky convinced himself that he could do it without the medicine. It took him three hours to fall asleep Clint stayed up with him until then.

Just a couple hours later he woke up screaming. Clint was at his side in a moment, he didn’t let him to apologize, instead asked him to move aside and let him in. That was the first time they shared the sofa bed, not the last one. Most of the times Bucky tried to sleep without the medicine, the quiet aura of Clint sedated him.

And the next morning Bucky would always wake up to the small things in the apartment floating. It didn’t take him too much to realize it was Clint doing the first time it occurred, he was glad he hadn’t react to it and waited to it to stop. What he didn’t do was asked Clint about it. He better went to Kate and she said, after shouting really excited for a couple minutes, that it was Clint feeling save. Kate congratulated Bucky for achieving it.  Bucky felt uncomfortable at first, it was magic after all but he had never considered it being so perceptive to their user. So now he was curious, Clint had already told him if a witch denied his magic it would turn off as if it can feel they are not granted and now he got that it could act on his own in relation of the emotions of the witch.

Soon he accepted as a part of Clint, he knew since the moment Clint told him he was a witch he would eventually face it if he wanted this friendship to work. It was pretty though; it made Bucky really blissful knowing he could make Clint unconscious activate such an innocent magic trick.

Bucky would wake up and faintly touch the things that floated around the apartment and smile to the man sleeping next to him.

oOo

Some days Bucky would sit on his room and stare at his boxes for hours. Other days he would open them and stared inside them and took out somethings to put them on the closet or the night stand or the book shelve. There are boxes that made him cry just by giving them a glimpse and he had to close them and pretend they don’t exist. Other had things Bucky can’t believe Steve saved from his last life.

There are still a lot of boxes and he didn’t believe, he got the right to live there. So Bucky ignored the boxes most of the time.

oOo

Bucky woke up feeling like doing nothing. He called Mrs. Wilson and called in ill. After the call, instantly his cellphone rang next to him with a lot of incoming texts. Widow meowed imitating the sounds.

‘Hope you get better soon :)'

‘Like tomorrow because it will be boring without you :P’

‘Sorry, not pressure though’

He was putting it down when it rang again.

‘Miss you already :C’

‘Take care, say hi to Widow pls’

“What are you smiling at so early?” Steve startled him.

Was he? Really, was it so easy for Clint to put him in a good mood?

“Hello grumpy baby” he answered instead

“Don’t please” Steve groaned.

Last night they got one of Stark fancy parties. It was crazy how no one said anything to a playboy billionaire that doing parties on Wednesday was indecent and that his employees had to work next day. Well, those same employees went and had a good time dancing and drinking for their own will, so they got not right to complain

And of course that didn’t meant Bucky won’t tease his friend and his bad choices.

“So, alcohol gave you the guts to ask to important things to Stark or it was a waste of time?”

Steve groaned again and sent him a death glare.

“Really, next time I’m seeing Clint we are having a talk about privacy”

“Too late for that my friend”

Bucky didn’t realize what he said until the words left his mouth. He felt his head heat up as Steve started to laugh his ass out.

“Shut up, shut up” Steve didn’t hear him and kept laughing for a while.

They ate breakfast in a comfortable silence. When Steve was about to leave, Bucky asked him if he could go to.

“What about your work?”

“I called ill”

“That’s a lie and I’m doing wrong encouraging your bad behavior but… yeah, come on, you already know the deal”

“Not meddling with your work, I got it”

Bucky did meddle with Steve’s work but he didn’t stay in his room either. With Widow wealthy in his arms they went on am exploring adventure. Ten minutes later they lost the track of where they were going, it didn’t matter maybe he would ask someone to announce Steve he was looking for him.

On one of the hails they came across with Sam. Bucky finally had the opportunity to apologize properly but he downplayed it with a gesture of his hand, he did appreciate the apology though.

“Why didn’t you said your mother what I did?”

“I did tell her”

“What?”

“Yeah, but she said that I shouldn’t be working in here if I couldn’t handle it and that she couldn’t be a tough woman if she couldn’t take you, really, it was her decision”

Bucky didn’t know if that was a good or bad, at least he never caused Mrs. Wilson any problem.

After Sam claimed he had to go downstairs for something they part away, Sam asked him to send Clint his regards with smile. Bucky just shrugged it.

Now, Bucky didn’t know how but he ended up in one of the principal labs with a man looking at him with the most neutral glare he has ever got.

“Hello” the man said adjusting his glasses.

“Hello” Bucky tested not so sure.

“You must be Barnes”

Widow meowed asking to be released. Bucky pleased her and saw how she jogged near the man.

“Hello to you too, Clint told me you had a new friend” the man squatted so he could scratch her easily. “I’m Dr. Banner by the way”

Oh, one of Clint´s friends. Did he talk with them about Widow or about him?

“It´s sad we have to introduce each other again” Dr. Banner took Widow in his arms, she seemed quite pleasant.

“Excuse me?”

“I’m aware you lost part of your memories, am I right?”

Bucky nodded.

“You use to hang in here, no so often but you were curious enough”

That was new, everybody that cohabited with him knew about it but never commented, never pointed out if they had knew each other before. Even Steve tried to keep it low and discrete the question about his memories. Until now Bucky had the luck to function pretty good without them.

He couldn’t know what he was missing. But he could hear it at least some part of it.

“Please tell me more, whatever you got” Bucky pleaded and Bruce offered him to sit down.

Dr. Banner was a little too serious. Sometimes he would joke of working with Tony. He for sure preferred to be far away from there but his work was helping a lot of people, so he got a one good reason to stay.

You see he was half witch, that didn’t mean he was worn as one; he was accidentally mutated into one. Fifteen years ago he was studying the roots of magic the bases of that pure energy that flowed around the world and sometimes would let a trail in the people. With the apparent decrease of magic users the studies to find a way to take that free energy and paste it to a person in a way to create ‘artificial witches’ that would be able to use magic the same way as a toddler naturally born witch started. Dr. Banner was one of the best investigators the project got. There’s not need to say the project never got to the first test, Banner suffered an accident that indeed connected his life to the energy flow but it didn’t work exactly how they though it would go, inside the doctor a new entity born, it got his own personality and mentality, pretty unstable too. He discovered that the limitations of the magic he could use didn’t exist, what he saw was the perfect weapon so he vanished.

Life took many turns and his running away was interrupted by the option of redeem himself. Tony Stark offered the option to use that unlimited energy in the good of mankind and witches kind.   Fusing any area of investigation and application with magic, Industries Stark gained renown and was considered the future. And on the shadows they were still looking for a way to open the connections with magic for more people but in a way that worked like the natural witches, until now they had nothing.

In a good amount of time, Bucky finally got a resume of the data more important of his living years. He learned more about the people he considered his friends.

“So it was because of me Steve and Stark broke up?”

“Don’t call it blame, it was just the best to do. Everybody was already in a lot of stress and the _incident_ did it all worst. Steve barley could keep up with his working hours having you in the hospital; Tony dealt with bad press because of magic being dangerous the government threatened us to close down everything under the pretext we were creating weapons. People started to fear magic for the first time”

“Because what I did?”

“First of all, Barnes you were a victim so you do not have to load any fault. Before the bank robbery it had already been one attack using magic to the International Security Forces. Rogers and Tony with a lot of help of people and witches managed to stop the third attack”

“And then?”

“The hard work to repair the damage began, but they did a great job because you woke up to an amended world”

Bucky tried to digest all that information, why anyone had the need to tell him all this?  It was like basic history for a class of history.

“What happened in the first attack?”

“I’m sorry but I’m not completely aware of it, pretty sure a lot people died. Maybe Clint if he want can enlighten you on this topic”

“Why?”

“Because he was involved in crossfire, hadn’t he told you anything of why he quitted?”

Bucky shook his head in denial.

“Oh, forgive me I accidentally entered in an issue I should not have.”

Bucky wanted to ask but he restricted his curiosity.

Bruce kept talking with him. Bucky now knew the pretty woman that offered the help when he got out of the hospital was Pepper technically the real boss in the Tower. No one know where Thor came from, he just one day appeared in front of Industries Starks asking for job, that he had a brother that was forbidden to talk about inside the Tower.  That Kate was rich, well his father was but she didn’t like to be related to him, that she considered Clint her hero. That Tony was a martyr with the best intentions, always willing to help, he dreamed with the peace world and was strong enough to look for it and only sometimes he let himself be weak. That Clint lost his hearing in his childhood, no one knew how, that he lived in the streets for some years and was the time he met Natasha Romanoff, a dreaded assassin, they became best friends. That no one knew were Natasha was… one day she just disappeared.

“If medicine has come that far why not healing his ears?”

“It’s a delicate process”

“And there’s no one that could do it?”

“There are a lot of ‘ones’ but Clint won’t let them near him, ever, especially his ears”

“Why?”

“It’s…” Dr. Banner sighed with grief

“Complicated?” Bucky ventured.

“Personal and yeah, complicated”

“But it would be for his own good”

Dr. Banner smiled.

“I understand you are familiar with brainwashing”

Bucky’s body tensed up and without thinking adopted a defensive position.

“I’m not scolding you or looking for a quarrel so please relax” he adjusted his glasses again “I’m just asking for that empathy you are able to feel”

“What happened?” Bucky’s alert triggered instantly.

“It is not up to me to talk about it”

Bucky clenched his hands with force.

“Someday he would eventually talk to you, believe me”

Soon there was nothing to talk about. So they stayed, Bucky and Widow, accompanying Dr. Banner who said there was any problem. Between his annotations and calculations he would do some spell to prove something or just move something that was bothering him. Sometimes it seems he talked with someone else. Bucky didn’t comment anything about it.

At nine p.m. Steve came in saying they were leaving.

When they arrived to the apartment Bucky didn’t want to eat anything, he felt his stomach upset so he went directly to his room. Widow followed behind him. He got in bed and open the option to send a text on his phone.

‘Hey’

‘Hey, feeling better yet?’ Was the instant response.

‘Yeah?’ He lied.

‘So I´m seeing you tomorrow?’

‘Yes’

‘Great :)’

Bucky typed on the device to wish goodnight to Clint, but right after pressing send he erased it and typed again.

‘Clint?’

‘Sup?’

Bucky stared at the screen with the answer, it was so tempting. Finally he chose to give it the time it needed.

‘Nothing… goodnight’

‘Night  <3’ ~~~~

oOo

The vague sound of the phone managed to get Bucky out of his sleep. The first thing he saw when his eyes opened was Widows sleeping face, the song  _Santa is coming to town_ , Clint personal joke due the proximity of holidays, didn’t seem to bother her peaceful dreams. He reached for his phone on the nightstand. He frowned at the screen, the number wasn’t familiar to him; the cell stopped ringing and showed a record of 25 missed calls. Whoever it was could be in problems but there was no reason to keep trying the same number if they didn’t know him. Perhaps Bucky needed to create that contact list Steve always suggested. Until now the only persons he texted was Steve and Clint.

When it started ringing again he answered on the first ring and Kate’s frantic voice resonated in his ear, she sounded pissed.

“Could you come pick him up, now, please?”

Bucky was going to ask what happened but she spoke again saying something about stupid people and stupid decisions and that someone was going to die as she rose her voice with each word. On the back ground, Bucky could hear cars going at breakneck speeds.

“Kate calm down” Bucky partially shouted to gain her attention “What’s wrong?”

“Just… come, please… I don’t like to deal with him when he is like this”

Bucky looked at his clock, he had only been sleeping for three hours. He sighed and pinched his nose bridge.

“Where are you?”

“On St. M… wait no! Don´t move, Clint! Damn it…” the sound of movement and more muffled curses reached Bucky through the phone “Ah! I’ll send you the address” She got to say in a rush before hanging.

It lasted two minutes for the text to arrive, it had the address of a bar Bucky and Steve would pass in their morning routine on Saturdays along with a thanks. Bucky stood up, put on a thick sweatshirt and his boots, just in case he took a scarf, from the window he could see the snow falling.

When he unlocked the door of the apartment Steve popped out of his room rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“What Happened?”

“Kate wants me to help her with _something_ ” Bucky opened the door.

“Do you want me to come along?”

“No it’s ok, I may not come soon” he didn’t wait for an answer and left.

Steve stared at the door and then to Widow that was sitting on the entrance to Bucky’s room. She stood up and walked inside Steve’s and jumped to his bed.

 It was the first time she stayed.

 

The cold surround Bucky when he opened the door of the building and step outside, it wasn’t that much but he wrapped his scarf around his neck anyway so that it covered his nose and ears. It was a gentle snowfall, there were some piles on the sidewalk and in the street the passing cars had settled it on the sides. Being so early in the morning there wasn’t any other passerby; he began to walk down the street to find a taxi. Luckily did not have to walk so far.

When he stepped down the car he saw Kate standing still with her arms crossed above her chest behind Clint that was sitting on the sidewalk and leaning his back on her legs. The bar was located in a principal avenue, for so there were a lot of people coming in and out of the building and around too. The place was well lit it almost looked like day.

Bucky approached them and noticed Kate was really pissed. Her knuckles were white of the pressure she was applying on her grip and her mouth was a tight line. She was only wearing a wool sweater because she had to give her coat to Clint. The man was, as Bucky guessed, drunk and on the verge of passing out if his lost gaze didn’t say anything.

“Sorry to bother” at Kate greeting Clint straightened himself but seem to get dizzy cause he lay back again with his hands supporting his head.

“No problem” The snow started falling heavier “So how did you end in this situation?”

“Idiot here” Kate pointed at Clint with a minimal motion of her head “called me even he knew that I hate seeing him in this state” she sighed “But I wasn´t going to let him alone, and less because he didn’t stop calling me. Could you take him to his house and keep him from doing something else or maybe drowning in his own vomit?”

Bucky nodded. Kate didn’t give any warn as she stepped back leaving Clint without any support, he startled at the missing touch and almost fall backwards, he managed to maintain balance putting his hands at his back on time.

“Ok, I’m leaving then because I need more sleep and I’m in my finals.” She looked down at the drunk man “Seriously Clint, couldn’t you just wait until holidays at least?” she took her coat back and it didn’t surprised Bucky he was wearing only a t-shirt. “Here” Kate handed Bucky some money. “For the taxi, I could took you in my car but I don’t want the idiot to get it dirty”

She waited for them to get a taxi and helped Bucky to put Clint inside before going on her way.

The driver looked bad at Clint due to his state. The good thing was they arrived without any incident that involved Clint’s stomach content, he fall asleep easily when he was placed on the seat and the seatbelt. Bucky sit right next to him, not letting any space so if he gave signs of throwing up he could help him to reach the window at least; running the risk of getting it dirty, Bucky passed his scarf to Clint so he couldn’t be so exposed to the cold wind. Half the way Clint’s head ended on Bucky’s shoulder, he didn’t push it away but restrain the urge to load his head over his.

Clint refused to wake up when the taxi arrived at his building, so Bucky had to carry him on his shoulder all the floors up to the apartment. It was the first time he understood Clint’s complaining about not having an elevator; he had to stop many times so he didn’t end up dropping Clint’s body because his prosthetic couldn’t bear to mucho weigh. Bucky really gave a sigh of relief when he got to the others man apartment. He had to put down Clint next to the door so he could look for the keys on his clothes easier, only if he didn’t lost them at the bar. When he finally got to open the door Lucky jumped right to Bucky’s chest and licked his face.

“Hey buddy, I got a package for you, you wanted it?” Lucky barked in response “Alright”

He took Clint the same way and carried him inside. Bucky lie him on the coach and went looking for blankets and a bucket; he came back to Lucky smelling Clint’s face and the scarf, he then landed his attention on Bucky and barked his tail was shaking like crazy, maybe he was thanking Bucky for bringing his human back home save, a bit intoxicate but save.

Bucky wrapped Clint in the four blankets he found it was a little difficult cause he was death weight. Kate didn’t tell him how much time he was exposed to coldness before she gave him her coat; his skin was pretty cold so he didn’t want to risk with hypothermia. He positioned him lying on his belly so his mouth could reach easily the bucket.

“If you don’t mind buddy I’m getting some coffee” Lucky barked again.

Bucky found some pizza on the fridge and taking too much liberty he shared a piece with Lucky that ate it happily. He was filling his cup with the precious liquid when Clint woke up, tried to come off the cocoon Bucky let him unsuccessfully and reached for the bucket to throw up.

“Aw body no”

Bucky snickered, took another cup from the cupboard and filled it too with coffee. He made to trips to place the cups on the floor away from the bucket before going at Clint side and drew patterns on the other man’s back.

“Everything is going to be ok” Bucky said because he couldn’t think on something better.

“Who dare to tell you such a lie?” Clint’s voice was a little rasp but he managed to use a teasing tone.

“A good friend”

“And now you are sharing with the class?”

“Yeah”

Clint tried to laugh but ended throwing more.

“Let it go, all of it”

Clint flipped him the finger. This time Bucky did laugh out loud.

 

“I want to shower” Clint said when finally got all the alcohol out of his stomach and wiped his mouth, he was lying on his back occupying al the space in the sofa letting Bucky up “I stink and my poor taste buds won’t be able to enjoy the coffee”

“It’s going be cold later” Bucky was enjoying his in front of him giving little ah’s after every sip.

“You can always reheat it.” Bucky raise an eyebrow “For me please, pretty please”

“Whatever”

“You’re the best Buck” he let his cup on the floor again and extended his arms up to Bucky.

“What?”

“Up, up”

“I’m not carrying you to the bathroom you can go on yourself”

“Aw Bucky, you carried me up here though” Clint commented innocently

Bucky narrowed his eyes and pointed at him an accusatory finger “I’m never doing you a favor”

“Please, pretty please”

“No”

“Come on Bucky I know you like to pamper me” he dared to wink at him “Please?”

“No and you may hurry up or I’m not going to heat you anything”

“I trust you with whatever you consider the best for me sweetie but first invite me a coffee”

Bucky couldn’t help the blush on his cheeks so he turned around before Clint could realize.

“Move, now”

Clint recognized the defeat so he tried to stand up but his body wasn’t in synchrony with his brain yet because he felt face first, hard. Bucky slammed his hand to his face swearing how Clint could be so difficult.

“Aw drunkenness no.” Clint moaned among his words as he rubbed at his nose “Buck, buddy a little help in here, please, for real I think I’m bleeding”.

Yes, he was bleeding. Bucky handed him a cloth to stop the blood from falling to his clothes or the floor. Because Clint was still dizzy Bucky had to carry him to the bathroom but this time he passed an arm under Clint’s shoulder to give him some balance on his feet.

“Are you sure you can bath on your own?”

“Yeah, yeah I can always sit”

Bucky left him in alone hoping he wouldn’t break anything.

Half an hour later, Clint sat down on one stool of the kitchen next to Bucky; he had a small towel covering his head so Bucky couldn’t know if he put again the hearing aids or going in with deafness. He handed him his cup of coffee to gain his attention and signed the question.

Clint said no a bit loud.

‘Are you sober now?’

‘Yes’

‘What happened? It’s the first time I see you drunk’

They had gone drinking with Steve and sometimes with Sam and Tony too, a friendly meeting to talk and bother Steve with Stark. But Bucky had never seen Clint took any sip of alcohol or bite as to Kate wine chocolates or Mrs. Wilson special cake.

Clint last a moment to sign the answer. ‘It was not a good day’ he took a sip of his coffee ‘every year I can not help it, I need to vent some things’

‘By getting drunk?’

 ‘You know life is shit, right?’

Bucky nodded

‘And that it is easy to reach a breaking point?’

He nodded again.

‘Two years before the bank robbery’ Clint made a pause verifying for it being a safe topic, Bucky lack of reaction meant yes ‘there was an attack against the International Security Forces I – the next thing I knew I was hurting my partners and other agents’ Bucky missed some of the words because Clint signed fast ‘I was conscious all the time, going – my will. I killed people.’

Even without those words that seemed important Bucky could understand what he was talking about. He reached for his hand and squeezed it in intent to convey comfort and support and waited for the rest.

‘It was Thor’s brother; he played with my mind’ Clint eyes were humid ‘My friends  could save me before it got any worse but the media wanted someone to burn since they got anything about Loki. To make everything easy for Tony I decided to quit. I isolated myself thinking it was for the best, I didn’t consider that I deserved help, I considered myself a threat. It got pretty bad afterwards, I found consolation in alcohol but and it quickly developed to dependency. Tasha helped me, more like forced me, to get over it’

‘And then she left?’

Clint first denied with a shake of his head but signed yes afterwards, maybe he didn’t want to believe that.

‘Since I have known her she had always do that, after a time she would come back as if nothing had happened’

‘How long Clint?’

‘Yesterday? Two years’

‘So drank your ass out is the best way dealing with it?’

‘Yes, it is like a pact? Just for one day’ he looked at Bucky with a pained expression ‘Because life is a shit and you want to combine with it’

‘You could talk to anyone instead’

‘I already told you, I deal with my issues on my own way, Kate ha told a lot of times it is not the best but it works, somehow’

They stare at each other. Bucky didn’t know what to answer; he knew the feeling if four months of cloistered didn’t say anything.

‘What about Black Widow?’

Clint didn’t mind the abrupt change of topic.

‘She was Tasha’s,’ he chuckled before continue ‘One day they Tasha went out for some raspberry ice cream and came back with nothing than a ball of fur hanging from her leg, she was so little and fiery, I think that’s why Tasha liked her. The next day Tasha left Widow left too, it was the first time she did so … I was scared of what it might had meant but then you brought her back so I believe just like always Natasha will come back’

‘And your magic? Will it come back?’

‘I don’t know, maybe? Lately its presence is notable more than a year ago’ he touched his chest ‘but I’m not comfortable with it yet’

‘You said you had your own issues with magic, does that Thor’s brother had something to do?’

‘Well it’s not like I had this super specialty, as Wanda, but just… It’s hard to see how manipulating people’s emotions it’s not that different than brainwashing’

‘How?’ Bucky ignored the idea that he could talk about brainwashing without freaking out.

‘Is going against people’s will’

‘I do not think you meant bad anytime you use it, I know you could never forgive you’

‘Are you sure you can say you know me that well?’

Bucky nodded trying to convey all the confidence he was feeling. ‘I am pretty sure you just wanted them to have a nice day, if that’s how it can work’

‘You trust that much in me?’

‘Yes’

Clint smiled warmly as he shook his head; he was trying to take credit from Bucky’s words without much success.

‘Wait, so you got like to specialty? You mean besides making things float’

“What!” Clint shouted startling Bucky.

“What?”

“When?”

“I don’t know, it had happen sometimes when you are sleeping and when you are about to wake everything goes down”

Clint started to blush strongly, he tried to hidden it behind his coffee without much success.

“What?” Bucky asked with curiosity.

Since Clint wasn’t looking at him he didn’t get the question. Bucky tap him on his arm and repeated it.

“Nothing, nothing, I’m just surprise I keep doing that, well it is something unconscious most of the time”

“Must of the time?”

“I can’t control it when I’m conscious, I can’t even get something to float, Bruce believe it’s because it doesn’t get restrained by my conscious limits”

“But it means you still got your magic”

“Yeah, apparently”

“Why don’t you try it?”

“What?”

“Your other specialty”

Clint raised his hands. “Oh no, I’m not using that on you, like ever, what if you end up killing me, I’m not putting that kind of burden on you”

Bucky took one of his hands “What happened to the assurance that I’m never going to hurt you.”

“This is different and you know it” Clint pouted.

It took ten minutes to convince him, so Bucky eventually was sitting at the counter with another cup of coffee.

‘It just works this way?’

“Yeah, well I once did it by touching the person but I don’t remember how I did it”

“Do you swear at it like Misses Sara does with her potions?”

“I don’t know who Misses Sara is, but no I just ask it to give happiness or sadness or madness”

“You talk to a coffee” Bucky raised an eyebrow teasingly.

“You can say so, the effect is better if it’s out loud but it can do good by only thinking it”

“Having a conversation with a coffee”

“Yeah, I know it sounds stupid but I dare you to explain magic” Clint narrowed his eyes making Bucky rise his hands in surrender but letting go some giggles.

Bucky nodded and stared down at the liquid and return at Clint “It only can be coffee?”

“No, but I’m more acquainted to it, it only matter that I made it”

“Can it be with something apart from food?”

“I had never tried actually, but I don’t think it would work I mean you _ingest_ the coffee”

“Just one last question”

“Which is?”

“Is this why everybody at _The Paradise_ loves your coffee”

Clint nodded a little bit flustered. “They know what it can do, I swear”

Bucky nodded showing that he believed him. Staring again at the cup he started feeling the regret of his choice. Clint was watching him apprehensively with his hand clutching hard on the counter.

_Shut it_

He took the first sip and that was enough, it didn’t burnt even it felt too hot on his hand, but wasn’t cold either; the taste was perfect on the point he liked it. When he gulped he felt warm inside him, firstly concentrating in his chest and then growing to every inch of his body: a tingle on the tip of his fingers and a shiver running down his spine and the sensation of floating in his head. He couldn’t think of anything, just to concentrate on the warm feeling that was so pleasant and relaxing. Without noticing it, Bucky was smiling and feeling good with himself.

Clint was still tense waiting for his opinion so Bucky tried to lighten the mood.

“Are you sure you just not put drugs in here?”

“No you dick head” he hit him on the shoulder playfully “I could go to jail for that.”

Bucky was glad to see Clint relax after understanding there was absolutely no problem.

 “Why would you said manipulate”

“Excuse me?”

“You said to manipulate the emotions”

“What else could it be?”

“I don’t know… changing?”

“That sounds awful” Clint made a facial expression of disgust to match his words.

“Well, manipulate is kind of aggressive so”

Clint stared at Bucky.

“How come you are so relaxed with this?”

Bucky shrugged. “Because it’s you I guess, I don’t know, I trust you”

“Why?”

“Really Barton? After all we had talk and share?”

“But I’m still a witch”

“Not all witches are monsters, I mean you, Mrs. Wilson, Sam, Br. Banner etc. etc. I would be stupid if I relate all of you with just a handful”

Clint bit his lower lip.

“What?” Bucky asked concerned detecting that Clint was feeling uncomfortable.

‘Monsters are everywhere… and of course witches are not the only ones’ Clint signed, he covered his ears for a moment. ‘My father… used to beat my mother’ Bucky tense automatically ‘One time… I couldn’t let happen again. What does a kid could have done? My ears’ Clint shook his hands as if they were numb ‘He took my hearing away with blows– I asked myself if I am not supposed to hate them, at least not all of them – I couldn’t bear stay near a man, my brother helped me go through that’ Clint’s hands were shaking and he was trying hard not to cry, Bucky didn’t know if it was because despair or anger.

Bucky felt it was the first time Clint talked about that out loud and being the one knowing it was quite overwhelming. He felt disgusted for Clint having to live through that, hate for that man who dared to touch her wife and beating his son until leaving permanent damage and rage because he couldn’t do nothing for the past now. Just be glad he managed to live through that. The only thing he could do now was hugging him and whispered to his ear, even if he couldn’t hear it, _everything is ok_ _now, I got you_.

Maybe it was the vibrations that got Clint to hold hard at Buck’s sweatshirt.

Maybe it was the vulnerability of the moment that made Bucky never want to let go, ever.

Clint moved away to look up at Bucky, he opened his mouth to say something, an apology for sure. But Bucky, who knows why, approached and captured his lips with his owns. He blamed his stupid crush to get the _worst_ of him and the need to make Clit happy.

As how the kiss started it ended. Bucky scared of what he had done, retreated until he withdrew his arms from Clint’s body. The other man was in shock with his hands still up.

Before Clint could got out of the shock Bucky did the best he could do. He ran away. A pretty bad idea since he forgot his clothes weren’t thick enough to maintain the cold out of his body, it had finally stopped snowing but the temperature was still low.

 Bucky went through the door of the apartment at six fifteen in the morning. He made it to his room after crashing into various objects he did not remember they were there because of fatigue that made his eyes burn if he kept them opened. He wanted to get cozy wrapped in his sheets.  Also his head throbbed from the lack of sleep; he didn’t even try to take off his pants to sleep more comfortable. He didn’t take the medicine.

He just fell asleep when his head hit the pillow.

 

Bucky awoke with the remains of a dream on his skin.

The cold sweat reminded him of being immersed in a liquid body and sat at the bottom of, a pool? Or it was the sea? And he spent the time watching the bubbles that his lungs let go through his mouth pass before his eyes on his way to reach a surface that may not exist.

On one side of the bed the clock struck twenty minutes to eleven. Since he wasn’t hungry he didn’t feel the need to extricate himself from the sheets maybe in all day. It was the first time he slept in his room without the medicine, alone. He hadn’t heard Steve leaving, maybe he called him but left after seeing him death sleep. There was no sign of Widow, in that moment he realized he had went for Clint without her, _whatever that means_. Bucky stared at the ceiling of his room considering to go looking for her but finally he shifted so now he saw straight to the window, covered his head with a pillow and fell asleep again.

If he finally got out of bed was because of hunger. The sun had begun to redden on the horizon and there was still no sign of Widow.

 Bucky had dreamt the same with the difference of someone touching him, a faint caress on his face.  He wanted to hit himself the strongest he could.

“You had to ruin it, hadn’t you?”

oOo

“So”

Kate was at his door with her characteristic purple clothes. Her foot was tapping the floor with impatience waiting for the answer of the question she never asked.

Bucky hadn’t be in the mood. He had lost Widow too and was afraid to confront Clint because of it too. So dealing with Kate first thing in the morning was giving him a headache.

“Good morning?”

Without asking permission she came in pushing Bucky in her way. “It had been two weeks Barnes I thought you were the mature one, but god you are not that different from Clint.”

“Did he tell you?” Bucky knew that was a stupid question and Kate face told him so.

“Of course he did, he has always being the nervous type; without Romanoff it’s my due to be his confident”

“You are not doing a great job kido”

“Blame if I’m just tired of your child games”

“What games?”

“Oh you know, pinning for each other since the day you met, all the time you spent with each other and the cuddle sessions and now the strategy of avoiding. Pretty cliché I may say.”

“I don’t understand what you are talking about Bishop” Of course he knew but evasive was always the best strategy.

“About your unofficial boyfriend relationship Barnes”

“What?” well that was something quite different from crushing on your friend.

“Well _I_ always knew it wasn’t official but the others had this bet of when you were going to stop fooling around but then they cancelled it because they assumed you were just a thing already, something it gave naturally”

“Since when did everybody thought Clint and I were dating? Why would they think that in the first place?” yeah he was shouting a little.

Kate raised her hand asking him to calm down “I don’t know, half a year? Maybe more, I think Mrs. Wilson believes you are close to your first year anniversary” Kate shrugged “Like I said the pinning”

“Does Clint know about this?”

“He does now; he was pretty dense too apparently. Look at that tit for tat”

Bucky shut her off his attention. If everybody thought they were dating

They were just friends, right?  Both them always see it like that, right? Yes, he had a crush on Clint for months now but he had accepted the idea of it never happening. Yes their relationship had develop to the point they sleep together in the most purest and healing way and spent a lot of time together talking and playing… He had pushed his feelings to concentrate solely on their friendship, for one they maybe get over that crush. Apparently it didn’t work. But even if he had being pretty obvious it didn’t mean Clint had to feel the same, right? Perhaps now that Kate had pointed it out to him, he would never want to see Bucky again _shit_ and he had to go and kiss him two weeks ago. Clint would think he had been taking advantage.

“Unless you really didn’t meant it to be like that, then oh dear, this is so awkward”

Kate seamed to understand something wasn’t ok by Bucky’s terrified expression. Without a word Bucky took off. He had to talk with Clint, to make clear he was ok with his friendship and wasn’t willing to ask for more ever, to forget his stupid kiss. Hell, Bucky didn’t want to lose Clint.

He ran down the stairs and nearly crashed against the principal door. He managed to open it in his desperate movements. When he got out he stopped at the presence of Clint; he was standing some steps in front of the building, with a Santa Claus hat and the same coat Kate borrowed him when Bucky went to pick him up at the bar. 

“The hell are you doing outside with so light clothes? You are going to get a cold!”

Oh yeah, he was still in his pajamas and slippers. Clint approached quickly with the intention to pass him the coat, he had a sweatshirt under. Bucky caught one of his hands after hi put the coat over his shoulders and restrained him to pull away.

“I’m so sorry for the kiss and the bad interpretations it could have given you. I never wanted to make you feel awkward.”

Clint just blinked in response, he didn’t shoved Bucky hand. The more time passed without anyone saying something, the more Bucky felt more uncomfortable, but the denied to let go Clint’s hand.

“Buck,” Clint started with a soft tone “that kiss, what does it meant exactly?”

“That I _like_ you” Bucky didn’t want it to be confusing any more “But its ok if you don’t feel the same, please forget it and let’s keep it as friends, cause hell you had help me a lot. One year ago I could have never thought I could accept magic again or going out and socialize. It’s good having someone that understands you, someone you can trust and I’m glad you trust me too and I feel so bad of taking advantage of that. Please, forget the kiss and let me be your friend, please don’t hate me.”

Bucky had got near Clint faces as he was talking, this close he could see the blush covering his face from his cheeks to his ears. He didn’t dare to blink as if that would make him lose Clint’s answer.

 “If I tell you that I feel the same would you not ask me to forget it?” his skin went even pinker.

Bucky smiled and moved his arms to hug him which Clint reciprocated. “Yeah” he leaned his forehead against his “can I kiss you?”

“Yeah”

And Bucky kissed Clint again, taking his time because there was no reason to be scare. Clint said he felt the same, who knows since when. They had really been fooling around just because neither of them tried to ask. Bucky kiss him and answer it following his rhythm, slow and endearing. When they part Clint is breathing heavy, Bucky felt like he could keep it for much longer and is already missing the touch but its ok they had time, just like all they need to get here.

“Pretty brave to send your protégé first”

“Shut up, I didn’t want to do something stupid”

“I think we already did something stupid”

“You think?”

“Yeah” Bucky gave Clint another kiss but now some inches apart from his mouth “By the way, did you now everybody seemed to think we were already dating?”

“Yeah, well Kate told me”

“Then if I asked you right now if we are dating, would you say yes please”

Clint laughed and tightened his grip around Bucky.

“Yes, yes and a thousand yes more”

oOo

“Well, obviously, being a guinea pig is exciting; forgive my lack of enthusiasm Stevie.”

They are having lunch at _The_ Paradise, Tony had been bothering about the delicious cookies and how it had been cruel from their not telling him before, so he gave Bucky, Sam, Bruce and himself a free morning. Obviously Pepper didn’t know anything about it and she hadn´t need to know.

“You’d not be a guinea pig. Tony has already worked with different cases.”

Tony had hired Bucky one moth ago because he really wanted Clint back and thought confiscating his boyfriend he would gain it. Bucky accepted because he considered it was time to give another step in his recovering and going back to the adrenaline of fighting was too tempting; even him was trying to convince Clint to accept Stark’s offer.

“And why mine is so special?”

Clint was really stubborn but he had implied a maybe. So everybody was satisfied with for now, Tony said he wasn’t giving up; Steve would be happy to have such a capable partner again; Sam wanted to know him more; and Bruce even if he didn’t say it out loud everybody knew they both missed him

“... New material?”

Bucky just wanted to spend more time with his boyfriend now that he had to work 13 hours per day.

 “Guinea pig” Sam and Tony said in unison

“You’re not helping Tony”

“You are not setting the idea right Capi” said Tony

“How would you put it then?”

“You will get a freaking awesome arm that will look freaking awesome and for free”

Sam laughed and Steve slammed his head with his hand.

“Well yeah, that’s more tempting Stevie you got a lot to learn yet about propaganda”

“Shut up”

Tony had been bothering Bucky for the last week about his arm, saying something along the words of sufficiency. Bucky had to admit his prosthetic couldn’t do too much in a hand to hand combat and he couldn’t hope to stay far away of the action always to relay only in his gun. So he had been considering Stark’s offer, he was talking about a arm that would respond to his brains order just like his flesh arm.

“Are you really going to do it?” Clint asked putting the orders of his friends on the table.

“You prepared them to make our days brighter sunshine?” Tony said giving him a wink.

“Yeah, except yours though, it will be a pretty blue day, sorry not sorry” Clint wink back.

Tony pouted demanding Sam should change his drink with him. Steve told Tony it was abuse of power to threating someone to fire them if they don’t give you their drink.

“Yeah, it’s the same man you trust with your ears, I can try to do the same with my arm, besides I do trust Dr. Banner” Bucky only answered to Clint in a reassuring tone knowing how he worried to much about missing body parts.

 “So since when it is official within you two?” Sam asked keeping away Tony with his free hand that wasn’t keeping safe his coffee.

“Four months” Bucky said proudly.

“And you didn’t care to tell us” Tony had stopped and decide to glared at the couple.

“Why should we have to?” Bucky downplayed it with a movement of his hand.

“Oh! You are all just upset because no one won the bet” Clint stuck out his tongue.

“Well we still got one remaining” Sam pointed at Steve and Tony.

The first one almost choked with his coffee.

“Believe me, I’m winning this one” Tony raised his vase and winked at Steve. He hot even redder if it was possible.

“That’s cheating Stark” Clint and Sam demanded at which Tony denied.

The three men started a discussion. Bucky assisted his best friend giving him some taps on the back. When Steve gain control of his breathing he didn’t tried to call out to Tony and let them with their argument.

Bucky stared around him and liked what he saw. A happy live.

Widow meowed from his lap; she had come back in the arms of Kate, now they seem to like each other now. None of them told Clint about her running away again. Bucky took his cup and took a sip recognizing the warm.

Yeah a happy live.


End file.
